‘God’… The meaning of life, (Enlightenment).



In order to understand ‘What exists and how it exists’, you are going to have to learn to think in a completely different way, but then don’t worry. I’ll walk you through this new ‘paradigm’ via examples taken from our linear realm.


You have to also understand that the finite/linear mind-set that you are used to, that you are ‘essentially’ immersed in, is Not the only perspective within the ‘All’, and that it is indeed intrinsically a very limited view! However, it’s the only perspective that linear conscious beings can view from. Therefore, I’ll use examples likened to verbal M. C. Escher drawings, twisting perspective in order to help you see ‘outside of the box’.



So yes…basically it’s all energy, we all know that now don’t we? But then try not to think of this ‘energy’ from the strict tangible perspective, it’s simply mind. And then mind? We can get hung up on words and their definitions, especially if you have been studying modern spirituality/metaphysics, that which would see a difference ‘at base’ between consciousness and ‘mind’ (mine - d = defined character). Let’s not get anal here, I am using the term ‘mind’ very loosely. Try not to get picky it won’t serve, better to try to understand via context. Because I do have to say that I have noticed a competitive edge, well obviously in mainstream society, but this ego battle has actually permeated what we may call spirituality, a bastion that the ego really shouldn’t enter. So please understand that you don’t have to believe all that is written below, I’m just telling my tale, ‘I’m not selling anything’.


Also bear in mind that this is intrinsically an extremely difficult subject to broach, why? Because we are trying to view something that is 50% infinite, and yet via a 100% finite lens?! Indeed, you will see that this fact will render the logical descriptions as ‘circular’, with ends being beginnings, so there’s no defined place to even begin an explanation from. It’s not as you are used to, A to B, A is B! And indeed, the initial attempt to explain/understand will fail, why? Because the ‘concept’ won’t make sense until the ‘circuit’ of understanding completes, when the end again becomes the beginning. We are no longer thinking in terms of lines that themselves are rootless, can have no logical origins. We are now thinking in terms of self-supporting circuits! ‘Isnesses!’ I will also explain why an ‘isness’ is actually a very logical conclusion, not just a convenient cop out.


(This means that you will probably need to read this text a few times, it should make more sense on and after each circuit. In fact, some of what was written early on, was actually put there for the second read! And this is also why I’m trying to keep it a short as possible, so you can loop it. It’s still quite long but then the comprehensive explanation is more like a university degree course. You can


get lost in the longer explanation, if it’s fussy, tying up and tidying every lose end, then you lose the sense of the circuit, you won’t complete, and so it can seem like one big linear mess. A complex body of linear text. So many interwoven perspectives, and then the fuller explanation also needs the essential feed-back of Q and A. Yes, this written text is not the ideal format for understanding, better an ongoing conversation between friends, but then it will have to do.)


Okay, so the initial explanation will be expected to be linear, with the linear mind expecting a logical linear conclusion (origin theory), when in truth the explanation will bend back on itself to then become circular, a self-supporting logic circuit, an ‘isness’ yes a very different way of thinking. And yes you will ‘understand’ it, the concept will indeed conclude in your mind, but then try explaining it to someone else and the fun begins, round and around you will go, and, where do you even start?




All that exists is an ‘Infinite Conscious Intellect’, and from this, the appearance/manifestation of ‘reality’ appears. Call it an illusion if you will, but then when tied to it, it’s as real as real ever is/was! In fact, you will see that what you thought was real, is actually ‘reel’, an ever recurring loop. So yes real, not solid and tangible per se, but it keeps on occurring on a constant pulse so it’s as real as real is…


(Here’s a good time to further explain why I am trying to shorthand this and more importantly, explain what’s missing, all of the corroborating ‘facts’ that the mainstream demands! This explanation found and understood via the following examples: Is the physical realm real or just an illusion? I would normally speak here extensively of such concepts such as; how are we Not holograms? You see even current science agrees and has proven that we are not solid physical beings. We are an assembly of focussed points of energy, oscillating at varying frequencies in order to create quantum force fields that then create the appearance of tangible boundaries within the said blanket energy ‘field’, (we are fundamentally pixilated, and yet the pixels have no mass). Some science still tries to claim that there is an element of mass, but that’s simply calculated via energy value!! Which bears no relation to solidity!! Everything is infinitely divisible. Therefore, if our solidity is created via focussed points of energy oscillating at varying frequencies, and in truth we/all are/is merely energy, then how are we Not ‘holographic’? Because we most certainly aren’t solid! In fact, I challenge science, if there is any tangible mass in the universe, then prove it, send me a mere cup full, accompanied via an explanation of what it’s made of…! That really is like looking for the small end of ‘space’, the micro boundary, which is in fact the same as looking for the large end/boundary. With the only difference being that the small end can be metaphorically swept under the rug, whereas the large end is the macro elephant in the room, as in ‘What is beyond?’ and there sure is a LOT of ‘beyond’, there isn’t a rug big enough to sweep the macro boundary under! But then the point is that this above is actually describing the very definition of a hologram ‘hard light’ so…


Whilst we are on this subject, let me quickly explain an important anecdotal point: If in truth all is energy, oscillating from pos to neg at varying frequencies, not vibrating, vibration is movement and movement requires mass. The energy has no mass, which is why it is ‘oscillating’, pulsating from a positive to a negative state, to then create the appearance of matter. Then, in truth your hand is your car is your dog, from the perspective of the base nature of energy all is the same blanket energy field. Which means that anything that this field seems to contain, the field must in fact be... What with boundaries being a construction/illusion. And then! The field seems to contain consciousness… think about it….How then is the field not itself conscious?



We may also consider the nature of what we call ‘reality’. We know that our experience of reality is not a physical one, it’s merely achieved via a set of signals ultimately interpreted within the abstract psyche. And then via the example of dreaming we can also understand that the mind itself can indeed create its own ‘signals’, that then creates its own reflected outer reality, the dream. So could we be existing within a shared ‘reality matrix’ created by a greater intellect, a central server, the conscious energy field? Yes, it is indeed feasible. However, this kind of exploration of reality or ‘Debate between those who demand that the world is real and explainable, in order to pursue their own soulless agenda, and those of us who basically adhere to a realm of eventual justice.’, will extend this text to the point that the thread will be lost. Because as I have said, we need to loop it, it really needs to be read in one sitting ideally. Put the text down and you lose the thread. Which is why I’m going to leave out all of the corroborating science that you should know by now anyhow!! This ‘case for the defence of ‘God’’.)



Again then… All that exists is an ‘Infinite Conscious Intellect’, and from this, the appearance/manifestation of ‘reality’ appears. Call it an illusion if you will, but then when tied to it, it’s a real as real ever is/was!


This when manifest, which means ‘viewed’ in fact, always creates a dichotomy. (To view/conceptualise is to ‘primarily manifest’ as in a defined visualisation, all manifestation begins via conceptualisation/visualisation.) This creates a dichotomy/duality as in that within the conscious mind, there is always a ‘sense’ of endlessness that can’t be logically resolved.


So, we have the concept of the infinite even if that can’t be visualised, simply because the infinite can’t be quantified or ended… And right here we can also see that the infinite can never manifest why, simply because in order to manifest, it would have to be defined/sized. And so we can also realise/know that the infinite is ever unseen, un-viewable!


The dichotomy or contradicting duality is that then of the finite, which is defined/knowable, and the infinite which is un-quantifiable and so unknowable, two opposing states!

You can’t see this paradoxical ‘All’ as one entity, if it is to be ‘seen’ as ‘One’ in theory, then that would be in its infinite endless state, but then that can’t be seen. So the All is One in truth, but that Oneness can’t be ‘known’. And even ‘Oneness’ is the wrong description because it implies a quantification, so it’s more of an unknowable potentially complete isness…


What is the Infinite? Well it’s hard to say, we can only ever see it’s effect, I suppose it’s potentially anything, limited then only by the limitation of that which views it. It’s like never ending potential/energy …….………..moving on…



Another Very important point at this stage in the explanation, is to realise above ego, that not all ‘intelligence’ is conscious!


We can understand this via the example of the reptilian centre of the human brain complex.


(Well, I’ve never personally stuck probes into a human brain whilst the person was still conscious. Leave that to the Frankenstein folk. ‘Not judging just describing lol…’ But it is said that the reptilian centre of the brain ‘complex’ is responsible for ‘natural’ function, heartbeat, cell regeneration etc. Yeah funny to think that the only way you can actually know this, is to stimulate areas of the brain of a conscious ‘awake’ patient in order to gauge the reaction. I guess we see this as Nazi science, but it’s really just science in general. No way around it, if we need to learn, then we have to ‘tinker’. However, no matter where the ‘natural’ functions come from, the point is that we do not consciously control what we call natural body function, indeed we can’t because these functions have to continue when we are asleep.)


So we know, well science knows that the reptilian region of the brain complex controls what we call ‘natural’ function, although the term supernatural would be more apt, because there’s nothing natural about it, not in the sense of the word, in which it’s implied.


The conscious mind tends to think that it’s the be all and end all, due to its sense of self. But then there’s no way you could continually and ‘consciously’, pump your lungs, beat your heart, digest your food, regenerate your cells etc. Which shows that there is an aspect of your ‘self’, that is way more ‘intelligent’ than the ‘you’ you think you are, from the perspective of pure processing power! And from this one example we should be able to see that there is also ‘intelligence’ within the ‘All’, creation, that is not conscious and yet it is tied to the conscious aspect! (On at least the second reading, you will see that non conscious intelligence can be infinite, not then evoking the paradox.)


The point that not all intelligence is conscious, is a very important realisation for the egotistical ‘self’. That itself, the conscious viewing aspect, is NOT the ‘be all and end all’! Without the ‘supporting’ intelligence, the conscious aspect could not function, this point will become more and more apparent as we move on.


You see the conscious aspect is intrinsically ‘focused’ and so limited because it’s a viewer, a lens if you like, and via the limitation of that focus it has trouble multitasking, so it can’t ‘process’ to any significant degree. The processor aspect of the All is attached and accessible but the viewer itself, what we call the self, is actually very basic in the sense of pure intelligence.


I suppose a good working example would be of face recognition software attached to a camera. The software is sophisticated and yet the camera is a basic tool. Of course in the example of ‘us’, the camera, or viewer, feeds back/interacts with the software. So very quickly here we are seeing even in the human example, which is a fractal of the ‘All’. That we are machine like in that we are computer assisted via our reptilian centre. If we did not have this function we wouldn’t be able to survive, again because a conscious focused viewer could not multitask, process to the required degree. And it bears repeating that the bodies so-called natural functions are in No Way natural, in the sense of ‘natural’ being a ‘get out of jail free card’ that for some reason doesn’t need explaining??? Like in the example of a man cutting bricks; a brick fragment flies towards his eye and his eye closes faster than he can see the fragment coming, acknowledge it? ‘Yeah that’s a natural reaction!’, they say. What, that there is a ghost within you that can see and react faster than your conscious mind can acknowledge, and that’s ‘natural’ is it??? They also call this a reflex, as if that also makes sense, ‘Oh that’s just a reflex!’, well what is a reflex, how exactly does it work?



Let me surmise then at this point. I have pointed out the ever present primal duality of finite and infinite. Spoke to an extent as to their true nature, and also begun to tackle the true nature of ‘intelligence’.



Okay, having digested the above, (If not then maybe read the above a few times before you move on, in fact the text is sectioned so if you don’t understand each section, then loop it). Having digested the above let’s take a completely new perspective in order to further understand this complex subject, this then below is indeed the ‘God’ perspective, pretty mind blowing in fact when fully realised.



What exists is an Infinite Conscious Intellect…


From the infinite perspective it does not deal in time, it’s what we would have to call an ‘isness’. It exists NOW, one complete and static now, not the series of micro streaming pseudo nows, that which we call ‘time’.

But then let me make the term ‘isness’ seem more logical, easier to not only understand, but easier to accept. This because the conscious linear perspective has trouble in letting go of its linear and logical view. I will use an exercise in thought, this in order to better accept the infinite ‘isness’.


Okay, we are going to use the problem that all school kids know well, this when considering the concept of the Big Bang Theory. ‘What went bang and how did that get there?’



Nothing can come from nothing as there is no possible action in true nothingness in order to flip the nothing into something. Ergo, if there was ever nothing, then it would have to have stayed nothing and we wouldn’t be having this conversation. In fact, from the logical view, nothing ever existing would have been the most logical and tidy conclusion, nice and neat. Nothing exists, so no need for explanations and origin theories, and it stays that way. Very ‘clean’.


And so very simplistically speaking, you should be able to realise, that because something exists, as we are witnesses to that fact, then something must always have existed?! FACT! (Nothing can come from nothing: Ergo, something must have always existed!) Which of course is ‘mind blowing’, but then only to an egotistical consciousness that works via linear feedback loops ‘re-cognition’, and therefore thinks in a linear way, which then sees it always searching for logical beginnings and endings to its linear streaming. (I will speak more on the nature of linear consciousness later, but let’s not lose the thread.)


Mind blowing! Something has always existed, no start, no end, you simply can’t ‘Get your head around it’, it’s totally un-quantifiable and yet proven via a logical conclusion, that nothing can come from nothing! So…. Something…must have always existed…????


A more complex view is that if indeed there were a reason for the Big Bang expansion/explosion, then that tangible ‘reason’ itself would also need a reason, an origin theory for its own existence. And the subsequent reason, would need a reason…


All you would ever see would be an infinite cascade of reasons that itself could have no origin.


Therefore, in the example above, Logic (finite) has found Magic (infinite)! How so, and why did I introduce the word magic? Well what is the very definition of Magic? Something that happens for no tangible reason! And we have logically found, concluded, that existence simply is, always ‘is’, an ‘isness’, and for no possible logical reason. ‘What is’ has no origin, it’s ‘always there’. Which yes, is the very definition of Magic. (Magic – Logic, the great duality.) You may need to think on this a while, the ego has trouble letting go, and the ego is a logic construct, so the acceptance of magic part way destroys it, magic destroys logic, so the ego WILL fight!


(But then no, the isness is not always ‘there’, it ‘is’, this infinite truth is un-manifest, ‘there’(location) comes and goes can I say within it? Of course we are not ‘within’ it, it has no possible boundary to be ‘within’. The manifest exists in its own bubble perspective of time-space, driven or powered by the isness. Again I don’t want to over complicate this text, so let’s move on.)


Don’t try to ‘understand’ the infinite, to understand is to quantify/resolve/define, or even to visualise. This can’t be visualised, visualisation is a quantification and the infinite is not quantifiable. Something always existing? This is never going to make ‘sense’ in terms of strict logic. The linear mind is ever looking for ‘beginnings and endings’, (boundaries-quantifications), which it has to be noted here, themselves are the same things heading in opposite directions, beginnings and endings are both simply points beyond which there is ‘nothing’, the impossible illogical null before and after. Not a problem per se in the manifest, that in your street the boundary of your house starts here, and then ends there. And I say ‘per se’ because it’s fine in the local view, everything begins and ends, but you still can’t quantify the macro ‘space’ you are living ‘in’ can you? How big is ‘space’? Ever expanding? What a cop out, expanding to where, and if it is expanding into a void, which is Not nothing it’s a void, then how did that void get there and how big is that? And! How can you be ‘in’ space, when space can’t have a logical/explainable boundary to be with ‘in’???


Yes…Logic is taking a bit of a beating here isn’t it!!! It’s not as smart and tidy as it thought it was, is it?


The understanding here of the above, comes only via the very logical acceptance that something simply must have always existed…?


Which is not logical in itself, but then the conclusion is logical! Again I say, it does bear repeating, here, logic finds and accepts what we may call ‘instantaneousness’. But then even that stupid term is simply logic trying to make ‘sense’ of everything it views. Let’s face it, it’s magic we are talking about isn’t it. And no to all the religious people, not ‘Miracle’ that’s a pompous lofty condescending term as if ‘God’ is logical and ‘God’ does logical miracles, it’s magic pure and simple. (Magic – Logic, the great duality! Instantaneous infinite magic, and defined quantifiable logic. And I will also say here, with no explanation, that it takes logic, in order to view magic…You can figure out why I say that on the next reading.)



Again we take a shift in perspective in order to better understand. (Or you can loop back if you don’t get it yet.)



Why can’t the linear conscious mind understand or even in some cases accept the magical infinite eternal perspective of what we are?


It’s due to how conscious ‘self-awareness’ is achieved, how it works! This via re-cognition, ‘I think therefore I am’.


The linear mind has the ability to separate itself into three aspects. The viewer, the view-screen or mind’s eye, and the essential ‘space’ between the two, the ‘neutral zone’, this that stops the two from still being one entity. And via this mechanism, the mind can achieve a sense of self, ‘the viewer’, that is self-aware via thinking.


The ‘viewer’ is standing away from and then viewing it’s thought bubbles on the screen we can call the mind’s eye. Via this process it can then witness itself thinking and in that recognise the thinker, itself!


In fact, it’s not really a matter of conscious thought, this feeding back or the re-cognition of self via an external medium (feed-back), is as basic as the feed-back of a subtle awareness of all of the aspects of itself and its reflected realty, that which it deems not to be itself ‘the viewer’.


The sense of the body, subtle and yet constant, the reflected reality, no need to view per se, just have that constant subtle awareness of. This that is actually achieved via a mechanism that is not dissimilar to radar! The mind is constantly witnessing, processing all external information/data, to then assemble a ‘picture’ of its physical from and reflected reality. Why do I say ‘reflected reality’? Well, later on I will better explain how conscious beings always come complete with a reflected realty. Without an external reality, there is no internal reality, sense of defined self. The outer defines the inner, outside of ‘reality’ we aren’t anything per se, just a conscious viewer of nothing…and so nothing ourselves. (Think on that, if you are a mind, no body and no outer reality, then what are you?) Remembering/noting here that even your physical form is external to your ‘self’, the viewer.


(And I also have to say here, that mankind already knows this above, in fact since Descartes coined the term ‘I think therefore I am’. If you don’t understand it from the above, go buy a book lol..)


So, basically our ‘self’ is continually feeding back, re-cognising all external data, much like a radar. Sense of form, sense of location, internal thought. And via this re-cognition mechanism, witnessing the ‘thinking’, the ‘thinker’ is also recognised.


(In meditation, it is possible ‘because God allows as a learning tool’, to negate the external data stream. This will then give an enormous sense of freedom, beyond feed-back so no pain = ‘the ecstatic’. It’s even possible to connect with the ‘programming’ behind reality. But then the programming language is somewhat chaotic…. So good luck! Yeah no, I don’t meditate, I always ending up thinking about what I’m going to have for dinner. My experience was/is shall we say, different! More like ‘Kabbalah’ (meaning reception) in fact, but then I am Jewish in this reality!)


In microcosm, this feed-back re-cognition ‘mechanism’ is like mini radar pulses, loops or circuits. Which then shows that if the pulses do not return, if the circuits do not complete, feed-back, if you do not re-cognise, then your metaphoric ‘submarine self’ will be running blind.


And of course when your mind returns to its infinite state, which it does on continual cycles, due to the unresolvable paradox of what we are. When your mind returns to its infinite state, all is in the same non place, all is theoretically one, and yet that theoretical one can’t manifest as I have explained. And so in that state the mind can’t ‘separate and feed-back’, so it’s not self-aware, and we call this un-re-cognised state of un-self-awareness, ‘sleep’.


(This is why we sleep, the mind is constantly shifting from each contradicting state within the All, it’s an unstoppable contradicting pulse. When we are awake we are finite when we sleep our minds return to the infinite.)


But then what we can also understand here is that even at the micro level, conscious is tied to time-space and logic, how so? Because it’s running on, feeding back on ‘logic circuits’. Outward pulse or question, and return or answer. Which requires the viewer to stand away from the viewed! There HAS to be a ‘space’ between the two, even if that is a metaphoric space in mind!


This time-space mechanism, is how the linear mind; One, is self-aware, via feed-back re-cognition of itself, a constantly pulsing re-cognition of thought etc. And Two, how it ‘navigates’ the linear realm. With a good example of ‘navigation’ being sight! You look, you see, you move, you look you see you move, and all via feed-back loops or……………logic circuits constantly pulsing, constantly updating its ‘nows’ moment by moment!! The very definition of linear time!!! (A stream of micro fragmented nows, like movie frames to the movie that is in truth, still, complete and in ‘In the can’.)


With the greater understanding of the term I use ‘navigation’ being ‘understanding’. We question and then understand our way through ‘reality’ via Q to A logic loops. ‘What is this, where do I go, is the road clear, can I cross etc. etc.’ Always feeding back, in terms of both self-awareness and understanding.


To surmise. Consciousness, self-awareness, is a strictly logical process that is totally reliant on; One: Time-space, the essential space between perspectives of viewer and view-screen aspects in mind, and the time it takes to (re)-cognise feed-back. But then everyone should know by now that time and space are tied, inseparable! Common knowledge. And Two: That the mind navigates, or ‘understands’ it’s reflected reality via constantly updating logic circuits, a continual processing of questions and answers, feed-back loops.


Which is why…………………!


The mind can’t ‘understand’ the infinite ‘isness’!


And then via ego out of balance, thinking that it, the conscious aspect, is the be all and end all. It can’t understand or accept what I have called magic, because it’s ‘endless’, no origin, no size, no reason. The question may go out in the navigation pulse, but there will NEVER, be an answer, and simply because? You can’t quantify the infinite/magic! You can’t size it, imagine it, know it!!! And then there will never be a reason for magic, so the logic circuits are left open and spinning (confusion), and the logical mind hates that! However, we can via this information close the circuits, not as logically as we would like, but we can find closure.


How can we accept magic? Because we can accept that something can exist forever in that for no possible reason. Why is the Infinite magic? Because it has no root cause!


(The finite knows that the infinite must in theory exist, because it can’t logically conclude ‘anything’.)


Final surmise on this subject. Intrinsically, consciousness cannot ‘understand’ the infinite, its ‘isness’ it’s instantaneous or magical nature! And so it has trouble accepting magic, ‘God’. The conscious linear aspects ‘us’, when cosmically young, can’t understand that magic exists when their logic is only basic. They need what we can call a super-logic, which is what this text basically is. A greater understanding!


And! This is INDEED, what the new age are actually talking about when they speak of rebalancing our male and female sides!!!! It’s not a question of men strapping on false tits in order to feed their children. Although sure it NEVER hurts to understand your partner’s life!!!!! Walk a few miles in their shoes, that’s a given. The male and female balance in question, the very essence of the new age, is a remembrance of God! A remembrance of our ‘female’ magical nature! At the moment it’s all ‘male’ logic and that is keeping us small!


And so! If the linear aspects can’t understand ‘magic’, then they will always be stuck at the ‘What went bang’ conundrum. Viewing always Only from the logical aspect, a lopsided view, not the whole truth. Which is where science is now stuck, assuming that one day they will find the reason for the Big Bang expansion. Not even fast enough to realise that the reason will need a reason…



(Some have said that the world is all male but that’s not true. The world is from that aspect ‘not male enough’, why? Because it takes a Fully realised man, in order to see a fully realised woman! Our male logic is weak, hence this text. ‘Adam’ has to ‘man up’ in order to stand beside ‘Eve’. We have to become smarter quite simply, in order to understand a greater reality.)



Another revealing point here is that if instantaneousness is proven to exist, and it is ‘magic’ by definition, then we have to ask ‘What is Not possible’? So it’s not really a case of what is possible, that would be anything. It’s more a case of ‘What is probable’? What manifests will manifest in order to serve the cycle, and magic thus far would have simply confused the issue. We weren’t ready for it yet because we wouldn’t have been able to understand it; I will speak more on that subject later.





In order to understand further I have to explain some of the grand linear cycle, our complete cosmic history. Yes! Our complete journey in the linear realm/s spanning many levels is also a cycle, a logic circuit, an ever repeating cycle in fact, a simple feed-back pulse when speeded up! It also has to conclude, it’s the only way we can understand it, it has to feed-back, the question of ‘life’ also has to be answered, that circuit also has to feed-back complete.


(Yes we do die! Well sleep! We travel a large experiential loop that can span many life times and levels of existence. But it does complete, we fall asleep, forget the journey, who we really are, and then we do it all again. But then to forget yourself is indeed death. We just don’t stay dead.)


So, logic is then made of logic, small re-cognition cycles fractally creating the over-cycle, this thing is made of itself (fractal). The logic cycles may look different, and may seem to differ in size, but from the metaphoric perspective of ‘circuitry’ they are the same basic feed-back loops, question to answer. Logic is made of loops Q’s and A’s or 0’s and 1’s 0101010100100000101!



So, I will now explain some of the grand cycle of rise and fall, our cosmic history, no way to shorthand it, let’s just dive in and all will become clear.



We may as well start from here, as good a place as any, where are we? What stage are we at on our over cycle?


Well, we are rebooting post ‘Fall’. Why did we fall? Why did the linear mind as a whole, forget itself ‘reboot’ to then become a very basic manifestation (seem to begin)? Here I have to take a slight tangent in order to explain and this will introduce ‘overlaid levels of mathematical truths’, all will become clear…after a few reads is fact! And yes, because this is all new to you, it may well serve to read each section over and over until it makes sense. Which means that it could well take a long time to read and understand these 20 odd pages lol. This because there is an awful lot of information condensed into this small text!


(Before I explain below, I just want to rudely jam in the fact that we have ‘cosmic’ seasons on our over-cycle. It’s where in fact the physical seasons come from, Winter, Spring, Summer and Fall, and we are now entering the cosmic Spring! This should be self-explanatory!)


I am now going to explain something that can be seen as the mathematical programing behind the more simplistic ‘manifestation’ of reality. Kind of like the programming language that lies behind the ‘manifest’ screen of your PC. Something mostly unseen and yet without it there’s nothing ‘on screen’. And of course at base, it’s all just 0’s and 1’s a digital representation of the primal duality!



I will now symbolically explain the cycle from a Very basic level, perspective, and most importantly why it falls and rises in basic mathematical or logical terms. And then also explain how the grand circuit logically concludes, how the question is actually answered, with this text itself being part way to the answer, which is more like a kind of understanding that allows acceptance. (The understanding of what is, is part of the answer to the question that is ‘life’.)



The mind feeds back in order to ‘be’, it has to re-cognise ‘other’ that itself or it can’t complete circuits and that renders it unknowable to itself, asleep. (The submarine radar not pinging back so it’s blind, unaware!)


And yet in truth there is no ‘other’ than the One mind to feed back upon?


And so consciousness is ever viewing itself! Well, experiencing itself!


We have all heard the concept that we are ‘One’. Yes, it’s true, from the infinite perspective there is in fact only one conscious viewer here, one dare I say ‘person’. (And that sucks on so many levels it’s not even funny, think about it! We are all-one, alone… we are talking to our self, everyone is you! You really don’t want to SEE that, trust me. Trust you LOL!)


And so this consciousness is all that can be viewed, and yet consciousness is nothing per se??? This will make more sense as we come around again, so bear with me.


In order to ‘view’, the one must then dissect itself, create an ‘other’ to view, but then this is not the first dissection by the way. The first dissection out of the un-re-cognisable infinite oneness when we woke, came out of the infinite state, was the trinity of, self. Trinity of self? Yes, viewer, space and view-screen in order to be able to feed back at all!


(When the One woke from the infinite, returning to time-space, the realm of the manifest, it firstly became aware by dividing into three primal aspects in order to achieve consciousness! Three = Free! This has been told biblically and symbolically many times and in many ways. I.E. The mighty Ra arrived from the Nun (un-manifest infinite) in a bubble universe of his own creative mind. This in terms of the macro ONE and the micro ones.., it’s how the One mind wakes the cosmic cycle and how we wake in the morning! Every fractal copying the only thing that exists! The impossible un-re-cognisable One, split into three and re-cognised itself, woke!)


This dissection, and then as I will explain, ongoing dissection, can be seen symbolically likened to when an egg is fertilised by a sperm, which then sees the egg beginning to divide until an entire ‘body’ is formed. With clone stem cells specialising to create the essential diversity of the body. Of course the reproductive system is a fractal of ‘what is’. And this joining of sperm 1 and egg 0, will become more revealing later as I explain what sparked the new cosmic cycle of creation. I will further explain the joining of the finite 1 and the infinite 0, which creates a paradoxical short circuit and ensuing system reboot.


(Yes the human reproduction cycle is a micro fractal of ‘what is’, everything around you, the stuff you take for granted is ever telling the same story, we are made of ourselves ‘fractal’. Indeed, the writing has always been on the wall, you simply have to know how to look, and it was never hidden. It was we who were hiding from it, it was we who became complex when we fell.)



So, on cosmic waking the theoretical potential One consciousness divides in order to become self-aware, and then further divides from many perspectives in order to create an ‘external reality’ to then feed-back upon!!! Much like how the egg when fertilised diversifies to create a whole body. The one mind diversifies to create an entire ‘body’ of creation, a reflective reality to feed back upon.


How does it do this?


Well It not only creates many versions of itself (sole aspects, or souls), to then allow for the interaction that reveals what conscious might be and do, it also dissects or explores itself from the perspective of ‘What can consciousness be?’


This ‘What can consciousness be’ is a mathematical equation is a book is a movie is a 3D hologram. This that we the many perspectives, souls, people ‘peep-holes’, experience!


With the equation being, ‘All the ways and interactions that can manifest’!


You see being is achieved via doing and v/v. I am basically saying that in order to feed back, and fulfil the criteria of conscious re-cognition. The mind had to create a seemingly external reality in order to interact and feed-back at all!


And because consciousness is an abstract and experiential entity, the One had to create the many so that it could self-interact and then reveal, what consciousness may manifest as. To us that means, ‘man in space’ as our ‘format’, which then allows for us to be Mother, Father, friend, bus driver, rock star, child, every single way in which consciousness may manifest around an initial format or premise. We call it creation. Yes, from one perspective it’s simply fuel for thought, allowing re-cognition, but then we are not robots.


Creation is for us to experience, for us to be something, feel many things, to live!!!! To be!!!!


And it’s as diverse as mathematically possible.


Summarise? The mind split in order be aware, and then dissected itself in order to create a catalyst to allow for it to experience itself in every way possible. One: So it could feed back and be aware at all, and Two: So that it could simply ‘be’. Or you could say that conscious has to be conscious of something, so it created something to be conscious of.


In truth, try to really ‘get’, try to really understand this. The Native Americans said that the land and the man are One! Well it’s more than that, the mind and its reflective reality, it’s cradle, are One! When we manifest, the other reality comes with us. Without the outer, there is no inner! (Ra, came from the Nun ‘infinite’ in a bubble universe!)



Now, I want to keep this simple, mathematical at this point. This in order to explain what drives the cycle. So we need to see this ‘creation’ in its entirety simply as one entity, which is a sum of the ways in which consciousness can explore and experience itself, which is indeed a finite equation, limited based on the limitation of the initial premise ‘man in space’, coupled with the intrinsic limitation of that which views, as I have explained. So it’s like a book or movie, not endless!


We can then see it also as that conscious can only feed-back when it’s in fragmentation. Like that a puzzle can only move when in pieces. So the mind fragmented in order to re-member itself, ‘what is’, with the remembrance being the movement, allowing the essential feed-back!


This now evokes the point at which it’s apt to explain the True symbolic tale of Adam and Eve in the Garden, what it really means!


The mind had to fragment in order to re-member so it could feed-back on itself. It created a void, via fragmentation or ‘forgetting’ of self within itself, a void to move into, to allow for the movement, remembrance, re-member-ance, that allows feed-back, which allows self-awareness.


What is, then becomes forgotten, essentially fallen, fragmented to the point that it can’t see itself, remember itself ‘what is’, the metaphoric complete puzzle picture. This fragmenation to allow movement, feed-back which is re-memberance, it does bear repeating!!!! Lol


And this mind now as the many in fragmentation will then experientially re-member, re-experience as it explores, feeds back. And in that re-members itself, to the point that the puzzle will be completed. (So endless rise and fall!)


This is what we have chosen to call evolution, is actually a continuous revolution.


The ‘Garden of Eden scenario’ is then very simply that the conscious aspect, even when fully remembered, symbolically now as Adam! Will intrinsically continually view, it can’t stop feeding back ever! Yes, we souls stop feeding back when we sleep, but the waked perspective which exists in its own right is ever feeding back it simply cannot stop or it ceases to exist.


(Try to understand here that the self-aware waked state, which is defined via feeding back, is in itself a constant truth, an isness if not ever revolving. It can’t turn off ever, if it did, there would be no action in the infinite un-manifest, to ever turn it back on again. Again, yes we souls shift in perspective from wake to sleep, we visit each state, but the two states always exist. So in the waked state the feeding back never stops, ever! It never stops moving, ever! Even the infinite potential state can’t help here!! That state is not nothing but it is no thing, it can’t act or manifest on its own! It powers the manifest, but the manifest has to be there to draw from it, to ‘act’. I suppose a good analogy is that the infinite is endless electricity….electrickery lol. But then you need a realm of plugs, sockets and appliances in order to manifest it.)


So… the endless feeding back sees that the symbolic puzzle pieces are being placed one by one. However, when the puzzle is complete, when all has been experienced, when Adam, the symbolic complete male, attempts to place the last puzzle piece into place. The movement, the feeding back will cease! It’s going to create an impasse!


There is no void of forgetting to move into. With the void of forgetting being represented by the puzzle not being complete. So when the puzzle of self is resolved, there can be no feed-back, but then in a ‘place’ where feed-back can’t stop! Yes it does bare repeating to let it sink in….lol…lol


The finite aspect HAS to feed-back! Which means that symbolically, when Adam re-members Eve, with Eve being a symbol of the fragmented forgotten ‘one entity or equation of all the ways that consciousness may manifest, or book/movie’ that Adam is moving into, symbolically reading or re-membering. (The primal male ever moves into the primal female. This incidentally is why Eve is red and Adam is blue, the light shifting of different directions. This is because, when Eve was read, Adam blew….. Really…it’s a cosmic clue….lol…really)


When His-story completes the Miss-story, then this will create a short circuit, there’s no room for movement, but movement is a constant truth of the conscious finite aspect so the said movement is being forced!!! There is immense pressure building within the primal dam, the A-dam! And don’t you already know that it’s going to blow!!!!!!


The apple? The apple in the garden is the next step in this cascade failure, it was called a forbidden fruit, it was told that if you ate of this fruit you would become as God, but then from this perspective it meant that the now complete finite represented as Adam. Would then be attempting to feed-back on the only other than it that’s left, which sees the finite conscious equation trying to join with the infinite, ‘God’.


And that is a massive problem, opposites joining! Matter and Anti-Matter!


The finite tried to quantify the infinite and all that saw was an unstoppable expansion, as you simply can’t size it. Adam’s mind blew! His mind expanded until all logic circuits where over stretched and broken symbolically speaking!


BANG!!!! All that was whole was now in many holes, fragmented! Whole to hole, holly shit!



This event then can be seen in a similar way to the commutator in an electric motor, that which changes polarity. What was whole, now had massive holes punched into it, all connections, puzzle pieces were now severed to the extent that the one mind of Adam, symbolic of total re-memberance. The mind of Adam, His-story completed now exploded! And again became a fragmented puzzle!!!!!! The fall!!! The hour glass flipped! Time reset!


Which of course solved the problem of it getting stuck when complete. So I’m basically saying that the system opened the quarantined fatal conflict file, finite touched infinite, matter touched antimatter, the system crashed and then rebooted. And this then… is the basic programming of the eternal cosmic cycle come journey. Why and how we recycle, why the manifest recycles, why the One cosmic mind recycles!!!! How we RENEW!


It’s actually quite simple isn’t it….lol….



It's all based on a paradox, that the finite can’t quantify the infinite, so the finite feeds back on its fragmented self until it gets whole. It then attempts to feed back on, view, its infinite aspect and that explodes, fragments it. A continual cycle of rise and fall, pushed ever on by the unstoppable essential movement needed to feed-back, re-cognise in order to be self-aware. As if consciousness is creating its own bubble void, to then exist feed-back in… It’s facilitating itself, and perpetuating this ‘movement’ via constantly recycling itself. Whole to hole.


Once it has experienced itself in every way possible based on a logical format for understanding, with that logic becoming the limitation that sees it eventually ending. It has no choice but to forget itself to then experience itself yet again. So yes, forgetting, really is for-‘getting’. Philosophically, like that we only have one movie, the movie of self ‘the ultimate home movie’, and when that’s over, we have to wipe our minds in order to see it again, and we have to watch it again because we have to wake and when we wake we feed-back, which is movement, and we need the ‘movie’ to be able to move, so the watching of the movie, life, allows the movement. We can’t get off this ride! Luckily we can forget it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! For a while….


This then is a brief explanation of why and how the cycle of creation turns, has no choice but to turn and right here I want to head of the obvious predictable question, ‘Why doesn’t it simply experience itself from continually changing premises?’ New movies, so it wouldn’t have to reboot?


This is because of the nature of consciousness; it’s achieved as I have said via feed-back loops which are logic circuits Q to A. Which then means that logic or low-gic. Is our language, it’s how we understand, how we experience. If we didn’t have this logic, everything would be random and so it wouldn’t logically conclude, feed-back and make sense, it would be chaos, unstable, but more importantly…….un-re-cognisable! So we would not exist!


You can’t feed back on: hjzh\nxkjscnjcnnnskocmskrua9ru9rdijkonzkc can you! Therefore, we as conscious beings are limited via our logical perspective. We see existence in a logical way, and in that our experience of what consciousness can be, which we too see as logic, will always be ‘seen’ in logic, as we always ‘see/experience’ in logic. And no, what we see as illogical is also based on the breaking of logic, which is why we laugh when people break logic for humour’s sake, we kind of short circuit when logic is broken and we make that silly ha, ha, ha, ha short circuiting noise. The breaking of logic unbalances us and we like that sensation!!!


So, what can we gleam from consciousness? Only a logical interaction from as many perspectives as the logical mind can muster. Sure we could be aliens, but then well… Think on the example of a truck driver who is often away from home and when he is away, his wife sleeps with the butcher. On a distant planet, a green man with six arms delivers goods to other planets in his space ship, and also, when he is away his wife sleeps with the butcher. What’s the difference? Even on this planet, you may be a rock star, movie star, track star, motor racing star. What’s the difference fundamentally speaking, it’s the same basic experience past the semantics of what you actually do?


And yeah I have had people tell me that there could be other experiences, things we have never seen as yet, but then you ask them to suggest one, just one….. and they balk!


Sure we could fly, that’s imaginable, perceivable so possible via magic. Moving things with your mind, yeah, doable. Change your shape. Why not? But the hard fact is that if the conscious mind cannot perceive it then it simply can’t manifest. Yes, the imagination is indeed the limiting factor! Which is why the arts are so important to us, we thrive on new and varied experience!! We hunger for it!


Crazy then when you think of racism, when in fact our differences are the very spice of life, literally in terms of food. In truth we can never have enough differences!! But then racism is only fear….via ignorance. Embrace the differences they are ever going to be too few!


This movie we call life is as you will realise, perfection. It gives you everything you need, not want, need, and always right on time. We are supressed to allow for appreciation, so yes we can’t escape our sufferance, we have to pay-in (pain), everything is calculated down the last atom in order to give the best possible exploration of what consciousness may manifest as. Some of it is very ugly, but then that’s just the ass end of beauty!


There simply is no more…. The life we live reveals it all, based on our essentially limited view. You can change the colours, change the numbers, four arms, blue skin, it makes no fundamental difference. Life is nothing more than a Bollywood Movie. The hero is robbed of his birth right ‘The Fall’, he fights, he sings, he dances and eventually he wins, then of course he gets the girl and for some strange reason chases her around a tree in the rain, whilst continually changing costumes…?


But then, ‘They all live happily ever after?’, what would that even be then? It’s just words, when the movie is over it’s over!


And this is also why appreciation is so important. Take the example of a Mumbai street kid. Happy playing cricket with sticks and a coke can. There is a massive journey ahead of him, from a real cricket bat, ball and stumps, to all of the wonders that Western kids play with for five minutes at Christmas and then throw away. Which is why we suffer, pay-in, pain, why we are supressed for so long?


The further the catapult is pulled back, the further the projectile fly’s free!!!



So yes, the above view explains the cycle and why it reboots…


However!!! The basic mathematical view above, the paradox and limitation is NOT what we see on screen!


On screen, in our manifest reality, is basically a perfect movie as I have touched upon above, which does follow the paradox theme, but not exactly, why?


Because that tight explanatory logic doesn’t really make sense to ‘emotional’ linear beings, yes let’s bring in the E word that all the girls have been screaming at me to mention, we have e-motion-al needs!


We are not all logic! And also all logic would make a rubbish story/movie anyhow. We have E-motion? Eve’s motion/motivation, the female view!!!



Have we forgotten Eve, Our eternal Queen ‘Isis’? In this world I say most definitely YES! And to the detriment of mankind!!!


We linear beings follow history, which is ‘story format’, so that we may understand, intellectually And emotionally! And it has to be realised here also, that there is no real point to existence as the finite perspective is always searching for. It’s an ‘isness’, we are alive to live! Life is its own point, and so the entertainment aspect also surfaces, which is tied to emotion!


The ‘mind’ has emotional needs!!!!!!!! We must NEVER forget that. Which the story, like any good movie, will facilitate, create and fulfil, like Bill Hicks said, it’s a ride!!!


Quickly, before I change tack again, I want to point out another reason for the system reboot: When Adam, symbolic of the completed finite ‘created’, touched oneness, the system creator. They joined and oneness was glimpsed. However, that destabilised the created, why? Because the created then became its own creator, which means what? It became a figment of its own imagination! Everything it thought it was, all that stabilised it, made it strong, intelligent, coherent, its staunch reflective reality, was then nothing more than its own delusion! And so it lost cohesion and stability. That which has no flaw, then had no floor, it could not stabilise, it became insane ‘lost logic and the ensuing feed-back’ to the extent that it could not recognise its own existence which requires logic! When the great logic cycle was seen to be a delusion, then all the fractal micro logic also fell.


You see consciousness cannot carry itself. We conscious aspects need a constant and stable reflective reality in order to be stable ourselves. If our external reflective reality bends, then we bend with it, which is the crux of the problem of mental health. ‘Crazy people’ hallucinate, their reality bends and so they are unstable, and NOW! You will understand when I speak of the REAL meaning of the word God! God is the Mother to the cosmic womb that we are ever in. ‘Reality’ is the womb of God that which we never leave. If you want to be clinical then we are the characters in a video game and God is the game itself, the supporting reality programme of which we are nothing without.


(Don’t ask me about God? She exists, outside of linear time, is She infinite? Well how can She be? She seems to be constant and self-aware? It makes no sense, She simply is, She’s magical! Her purpose is to carry us, she is motivated by love…. She’s God…..?????????????????????? Ask her what She is, ask her how She is and She says: I am that I am! Even She cannot explain herself, she simply is….)


(This that we are is in constant separation so that it may carry itself, and not therein evoke the paradox of self-creation, so there is indeed God and man! The carrier and the carried, creator and created. The paradox is used as a tool in order to reboot the system when it’s time, but then when we are manifest we are carried remotely by God. In truth, from a higher perspective we are indeed God, all is One. But then if you ever ‘see’ that, then you will become your own creator and blow you mind to a degree if not totally. You don’t need to see it, you can FEEL it. God carries us, God is Love! Sometimes tough love but love all the same, God selflessly serves us. And no, God is not linear.)


So, to all the new agers and hippies who love to say that the universe will provide. The universe is just an app, creating a stage a big empty space in the manifest. Pray to it all you like, it can’t help you. I actually find this view disrespectful to the Eternal Mother who ever carries us because we can’t carry ourselves or the paradox of self-creation kicks in and we fall. Why a Mother? Why female? Well it’s the reception to us the collective fragmented action, we live within ‘her’. No She’s not a woman as we see women, but She is relatively ‘female’ if you see what I mean, it’s ‘how’ She is, what She is, receptive.


No point in praying to Her either, she’s always one step ahead of us giving us what we need, no not want. If you wish to pray at all you could just say thanks.. Yeah She is not linear, She exists in all time…crazy to us…. You can’t understand it/Her in a linear way???? I have heard tell that she has a male side, well we are all duel, but I have never experienced her as anything other than female. I am open minded on this. Some may well see God as male….? It can be both but! In terms of strict logic, she is the reception to our action. We are the plug, She is the socket.



Creation reboots when Adam symbolically joins with her, child then becomes its own parent, the completed male conscious linear action 1 enters the female ‘isness’ 0 and it all starts over. (The Big Crunch, to new Big Bang!)


Which is why we procreate in the way we do, which is why our sex organs look the way they do 0 & 1. This is fractal of what is, we copy the only thing there is to copy!!! The physical sex act is a copy of the cosmic act of creation, but then the Hindus know this anyhow!


If you are familiar with the Hindu religion you will see that I have basically short-handed their entire doctrine here above. How Shiva divides and Shakti then creates what they call I think the Maya? The reality, in which we dwell. Always symbolic of course. Also seen in the symbolic tale of Isis and Osiris, where Osiris ends up in a coffin, gets ‘stuck’. And then is chopped into bits, or fragmented, which then sees Magical Isis re-membering him, it’s ever symbolic.


The Mayan first Father who re-seeds creation on completion, the tree of life growing out of his corpse. And I will speak more of this symbolism but then let me now change tack and speak of the ‘layer’ that we live in ‘reality’, why it looks the way it does. Yes, more on the burning question, why is it so dam Hard???




We are now embarking upon, in terms of explanation, what I choose to call the ‘Chain of inescapable truths, or inevitabilities’. There’s no real choice, in order to create this cycle, with regards to the components we have/are. Then all this stuff has to happen. A bit like a combustion engine. It has to work in the way it works, fuel, compression, spark, timing etc.


A good symbolic way to explain this is via the example of Adam. Adam was a fully realised being, symbolically speaking. So much so that he saw the whole and in that touched God. He then experienced the paradox of self-creation, his mind destabilised without a remote external carrier. He was insane to the extent that he could no longer ‘re-cognise’.


And yes the biblical tale is wrong, wrong, wrong. Twisted via time and a linear view. Yes, the Adam and Eve scenario was the end/beginning, but not in the way it has been told. It’s too linear and simplistic that Adam and Eve had children and then the one child married someone who was never explained??? And from them we all came. It never made any sense.


Eve is a representation of the movie we exist in when still untold, the unfolding Miss-story, the void of forgetting that we are traveling into, re-membering in fact. Which is why she’s female, as we are moving into her, ‘receptive’. Creating then our His-story ‘Male action’ via the reading of her if she is to be seen as a book. When History meets mystery, when Adam and Eve join, when Shakti and Shiva join, then the equation completes and the paradox is evoked. Only Adam as the male action then bites the apple and touches God, which reboots the system. Where did Eve go? Hard to say, it’s as if Eve is God, well ever becoming God, the reflective reality, her lower and higher self, becoming one!


This happens at the end of creation which then becomes the beginning. The Big Crunch becomes the Big Bang, the hour glass flips, yes Exactly like the math of the Bouncing Universe Theory, although it’s not gravity forcing the flip as science suggests. It’s the unstoppable momentum of conscious recognition.


Therefore, the point is that ‘Adam’ had to fall, forget EVERYTHING! The whole system had to reboot. ANY recollection of this truth would see the system continuing to short circuit at that point, the system had to be purged! The apple stuck in the throat, ‘the Adam’s apple’ had to be spat out.


But then this is where the ‘chain of inevitabilities’ had to kick in!!!!! (How the engine works!)


In order for us to reboot, we had to totally forget what we are, and then re-member ourselves from scratch. In order for conscious beings to again manifest, a stage was needed, and because conscious beings are intrinsically logical, the stage had to make sense. We couldn’t just appear in a place that obviously wasn’t real. We would have quickly seen through the ruse, which would have ruined he game, upset the reboot sequence! Therefore, the universe, our stage, had to look real, and not just in physical appearance, it had to also makes sense on the quantum level. This because we would be dissecting it via ‘science’ sooner or later, only a matter of time. And so this is why everything looks the way it does (It is problematic of course but everyone is still too stupid post fall to fully realise the said problems). The planets, stages, couldn’t be flat so we could logically stand the right way up upon them. This because then they would have had to all aligned, which would mean that the universe would have an up and a down. Which would suggest that it was aware of its orientation somehow, suggesting intelligent design.


So the planets were made to be random-ish spheres, but then there was still a problem of ‘orientation’, logically in the local mind, the people on the sides and bottom would fall off. The problem still existed, and so gravity was jammed in there, to hold everyone on the ball. Which is why Einstein could never unify gravity as a law!!!! It’s not mathematical is it? All of the other laws of physics are based on mathematical principles, 20 is more than ten, more value more weight more force etc. Logical! But then why should smaller numbers, values, be drawn magnetically (mag-netic, mag, drawn to higher values? In math it makes no sense, but then gravity we have and everyone accepts it so job done, no one questions it do they? Well except for Einstein and he had no answers! There was also a problem with boundaries, with space being the most obvious. How can we be ‘in’ space? If there is a macro boundary to be with ‘in’, a barrier, then what’s on the other side of that demarcation point, it can’t be nothing? So space was made to be really big, a simple case of ‘Out of sight out of mind’ and yes we are still ‘stupid’ via the fall so again, no one questions it do they?! Not really…


For the best part the appearance of reality works, especially if you look with your eyes and not you’re your mind! Well, this is the Father Xmas equation. As in that you can indeed tell your kids that Father Xmas comes down the chimney, at least until they are clever enough to ask how, when you have central heating? At that point the child has to be told the truth and that’s the point that mankind has now reached!


But then looking back at the programme we are in. We also needed some kind of origin, and yeah it may be somewhat condescending, but it was just made to start small and basic, and a Very long time ago. This so no one saw the remaining problem of the first appearance of ‘life’. How, why? The spark?


Just because it’s small doesn’t solve the problem, what with size being relative. The first manifestation of life may as well have been elephants!! (Size and complexity being relative.)


In a distant swamp, many years back, for no reason, certain amino acids and proteins collided accidentally to form the first elephant. And then accidentally another, and they accidentally knew how to survive and even procreate???? Just because life was rudimentary it in NO WAY negates the same problems of the accidental appearance of ‘life’ along with ability to accidentally and ignorantly sustain itself!!!


But then we had a reasonable story, and the more it evolved the further we moved away from the problem of origin. Evolution as a self-supporting theory made sense within itself. We started out as reptilian, no consciousness all ‘instinct’, and then evolved, over a VERY long time, into more sophisticated mammals. That apparent explanation seems to work. Speed it up and it looks a bit suspect lol, too many why’s and hows… Like speeding up images of creeping vines, you can see the life in them then! Flowers move so slow they look dead and inert don’t they!


And then it is ‘what is’, hard to question ‘reality’ when you are standing in it isn’t it!!!!!!!


And this story then allowed us the stability and acceptance of the program, this to then evolve ourselves, which was the real point! Re-membering consciousness.


In order to get to where we are now, we had to re-member/experience everything from stone tools to computer technology. Which was a natural progression based on mathematical principles, we were actually remembering the very fabric of our own nature BUT!


The remembrance was never actually the point was it? There is no end product, the journey is indeed the destination! The experiential journey that is.


Why so hard initially?


Well how can you circumnavigate that? We needed ignorance so that we could ‘become’, if God were known everyone would have gone on strike. I’m not doing this crap, give me magic, give me give me, give me!!!! Carry me Mommy I’m tired…cut my food for me Mommy..! What then would we have been? Spoilt cosmic children who couldn’t be quelled, could never be satisfied…


I could go on and on but you have to understand for yourselves that we simply had to ‘become’ think about it. There was no possible quick fix or we would have taken it.


One of the reasons for the hard reboot, was that, notwithstanding the essential ignorance of our true nature that saw conflict. Was that of ‘appreciation’ from both definitions of that word. We needed as long a diversion from the solitary truth of oneness and self-creation as possible. And so we needed to savour every last drop of the movie. Easy come easy go it’s true, so we had to work for what we have in order to ‘appreciate’, and also the hard work makes it more real, that should also be self-explanatory. We could not escape our sufferance, but then again, why so hard? Well, you have to realise what’s at stake here. When this movie is done, all that awaits us is insanity and destabilisation, a cosmic war no less. To varying degrees to varying souls, most will pass reasonably peacefully and wake on the next loop.


Therefore, we were heavily supressed/retarded in order to prolong the joy of the release. It’s inescapable that the height we reach is totally reliant/dependent on the low we descend to. So the question is not really why did it have to be so hard, it’s really a matter of how high do you want to reach? Which then beckons the more chilling question, ‘How low can you go’?


And I have to say we really hit rock bottom didn’t we!!!!!! Man what we became!!! It was ugly….still is in fact, but then that’s about to change.


So the reboot was hard seeing mankind struggle to raise himself from the murk of the essential ignorance. As I have said, from stone tools, basic geometric building principles to complex technologies all the time creating an understanding that has now become the language I am using in order to finally begin to describe, remember and accept God. Also creating the medium in which this knowledge can be shared. (Knowledge? The truth is that there is no-ledge…)


A time now where the once essential ignorance has reached a level where the destruction of the plan-et is not only immanent, it’s well underway. This not only from the ecological perspective, more importantly from the economical perspective, why? Because in the fear created by the essential ignorance, survival come greed has become the driving force. And due to that, mankind has chosen a ‘capital’ selfish system in order to distribute the wealth, a slow stampede, a mild tight fisted panic in civil slow motion. But then the capital system is not mathematically sustainable, it’s basic Monopoly, an end game scenario. Which creates massive problems when it inevitably fails! With child-like governments then doing anything to hold on to their wealth, position and power when the game concludes.


NO! Capitalism is not failing! It’s completely on track a positive success!!!!!! The few control the board and the rest are out, that’s how it works, competition, blast your competitors out of the water. So no….not a sustainable economic system of exchange.


The ensuing diversionary blame when the game fails comes always in the form of conflict. So, when the system fails completely, strike that…when they can no longer conceal the system failure of an already bankrupt world. They will engineer conflict and also try to reboot their capital system via controlled destruction ‘Nothing like a good war to get the economy going’. And this is naïve, the conflict will get out of hand, along with the fact that no country can even afford a land war. So the itchy ignorant fingers will attempt a controlled nuclear strike. Which in theory could work, rebooting the economy via less people and a need to rebuild BUT. The damage to the surprisingly fragile and interdependent ecosystem would be too much. They would kill our Earthly Mother!



So… there will be a revelation of God, it’s forced by a chain of events as the only possible solution. Us hippies can’t change the world, and yes, I am a hippy I suppose, not that I look or even act like one, just a hippy in mind, I’m a lover not a fighter. Even if all the people demanded a better world, ‘they’ would not listen, if we tried to remove them they would shoot us down, they hold all the keys. As well as there is no way that mankind will ever unite as long as there is still a dollar to be made!!!!


The so-called spiritual folk selling God on the internet?!?!?


NO! Conflict is not the answer and besides, pick up a sword and you are instantly become one of them, no matter your altruistic reason! The only answer now is via a realisation of truth and ensuing ascension. We need to become something that they can’t either threaten or control, so yes, God is the one key! Sure they can destroy the physical, our bodies, but……we are not physical, and where we are going they can’t even conceive of let alone follow.


So yes this greed driven impasse coinciding of course with the advancement of knowledge on the planet to the point at which we can now ask how Father Xmas can get down the chimney when we have central heating?


This is the dawning of the age of Aquarius! And no Jupiter and Mars are not planets, they are male and female!!! And, Mars is not male, it’s female, which is why it’s red, Ma-s Matriarchal.


Now, this text is already too long and then not nearly long enough, but then I want to address something that is apparent and ‘seems’ to conflict with what I am saying. When in fact it actually supports it when understood.


Why is there knowledge, in fact of the cycle, seemingly in our past?


Okay I will try to fast track this. We are on the verge of an ascension, we are about to become a less limited expression of consciousness via connecting with, remembering our magical nature. The reboot is all but over, the premise is set and now the movie is about to change. However, we already know where this leads on a cycle, we will at some point fall. I have described technically how the fall happens but then not in terms of the actual story line.


Basically, we ascend to become ‘magical’ beings (less limited), and I’m really not sure of the details. I wasn’t allowed to see that, why? Because that’s our future, the movie we are about to experience! To know the details is the ultimate spoiler. But it goes a little like this, and the clues are there anyhow via distant rememberings, folk lore etc.


We create a utopian society, they have called it Atlantis, the Kingdom etc. But then sooner or later people simply get bored. Especially when they have experienced all there is to experience, which is the near completion of the puzzle as I have described in the programing behind the manifest. So the people become decadent, there is dissent, the clue is in the twin word descent/dissent. (Yes there is a CODE in the English language, but I’m not going to speak of that here. But then okay you can take that word CODE, turn it upside-down and look at it in the mirror, it still says CODE. This showing us that everything is back to front, the mind is the origin, not the physical. The reverse code hidden in the word CODE, like using the word password as your password, so you don’t forget it. And no language is not man made!!!! Nothing is man-made, all is what is, we are simply re-membering.)


The picture is fuzzy but it seems that there was a divide in the Kingdom, the Osiris story hints at this. However, what they didn’t know was, despite Osiris telling them often. That ‘reality’ was a reflection of the state of the mind of Osiris, who yes is Adam. When Adam falls, then the ‘Kingdom’ falls along with him, we could call Adam the cosmic clock. Not dictating cosmic time, just aligning with it.


Yes a real person, well, as real as anyone is….. More of a symbol in fact, a key character in the movie.



In truth we are ALL avatars of the One mind! None of us are ‘real’, and there is indeed only one of us here! Our individuality is only a tool for experience sake.



So they plotted against Osiris, and somehow he fell, of course knowing that it was simply ‘time’. They wouldn’t have tricked him, he simply allowed them to have their way knowing full well what was about to happen. In the ‘story’, somehow Osiris, Adam, was provoked into biting the apple, touching God! He gave himself back to God so that we could reboot and again move forwards, to recapture our innocence, to again find love! Open a window, everything had gotten stale.


When Osiris fell, the Kingdom fell. The short circuit cut in, in the programing realm, if that even be a realm? And all short circuited energy runs back to Earth. (Yes, I don’t think that the Kingdom was on Earth, I also ‘feel’ that once ascended we used to travel in space?)


But then the system rebooted, reset to a re-evolving Earth. Which then saw the survivors of the fall also falling back to Earth, the centre. The Earth is the hEart, which is why it’s an anagram.

In reality, the ascended beings fell back to a re-evolving plan-et, and as soon as they got back there they began to slowly age. These were then called the sky people, the Aryans who had extensive knowledge of the universe of course and could move stuff with their minds etc, so they probably built the pyramids and Stonehenge etc. Stone monuments depicting our cyclic nature, marking solstices, aligning with symbolic star constellations. A message in stone sent to the future!!!


They taught the Egyptians, the Maya and of course the Hindus, which is why this tale of rebirth and cycles, ages (yugas), is a condensation of the extensive Hindu texts. However, as and when the ascended beings died, the true accounts died along with them! The knowledge was then subject to the ‘Chinese whisper’ affect, over time and via the now strictly linear mind-set trying to make sense of the knowledge, the knowledge was all but lost. But that’s why it’s here! The sky people weren’t aliens, there are no aliens, they were us! What we are about to become. Yes, these masters died and were then forced to reincarnate over and over until it’s time to wake once more! They are what we become! We are them!


It’s all about to begin again in earnest the movie past the reboot-prologue.



This is just a fraction of what I could explain, but then it’s more than enough to begin with. Maybe enough period, because there’s no real point in knowing too much of the tech stuff. Unless of course you need proof, so all the loose ends will have to be tied. At the end of the day, it’s more a question of faith? Do you believe that you are an accidental meatbag, or a divine being? And more importantly are you ready to put your money where your mouth is, can you walk the walk?



And then the last points I want to address are that of, because they ALWAYS come up! Does the movie always play out the same way and if it does and it already happened, do we have free will?


Firstly, I say that it does play out in the same way every time because it’s a cycle and so it has to connect, the past has to again realign with the future. But then also, every time we recycle we never remember the last loop anyhow. So why would it need to change? For us knew becomes new, it’s always the first time for us. Who would the change benefit?


So does that mean that we have no free will?


Well this is another one of those times when you have to think in a different way, and the only way that I can explain the subject of free will is via a metaphoric tale that never actually happened.


It kind of goes that the mind wanted to experience being real, we want and love to feel real right!!!!


Come on really Feel it, take a deep breath, look at the world, shout at the top of your voice and slap your loved one on the butt! Isn’t it great!


And so it created an experiment, it split itself into many different characters, who were cosmically type cast in that they couldn’t escape their personalities. Like that some could not commit murder, some felt compelled to? So do they/we really have choice?


We can only act from who we are!


And then the mind ran the program to see what would happen if everyone had this ‘free choice’.


So, bar a little intervention to keep us in track with the main cyclic course. Everyone did indeed make choices and those choices created this reality. The choices were real the first time. And when the cycle reboots, the movie is simply rewound. You see it’s NOT linear, time doesn’t go only one way, you can rewind it, like a movie. What is, can be rewound as if it never happened. And then it happens when played, in the same way as it did the first time. The linear mind sees this as a copy of something that happened before, but that’s Not how it is, it happens and then un-happens! Time can go both ways! So it’s actually happening now, no not again, ‘again’ has nothing to do with it! It’s always now, always the first time!!!


You see from one perspective the mind is not cycling, it’s actually breathing. Exploding/expanding, and contracting/re-membering. The cycle perspective is an essential overlay, in order to make it seems as if we are always moving forwards, like that an engine works via pistons pumping up and down, in and out of the cylinder, and that up and down movement is then converted to cyclic movement via the crankshaft. From one perspective creation is pulsing, but the linear aspect essentially converts it into a cycle in order to make sense of it, it reformats it.


So it’s not cycling per se, it’s doing and undoing. Yeah good example! Write something on your PC, delete it, and then hit undo and redo, it’s like that!


(How does that work? I mean to say how do we undo and redo the manifest? In terms of a PC, a copy is retained on the clipboard ready for retrieval. So I suppose, I wasn’t shown, but it makes sense to me that the processor/controller of reality ‘God’. Simply goes to the ‘book’ and reads again, with the analogy being that anything that is not being read, in ‘time’, doesn’t exist per se. Kind of like that the past and future don’t exist for us, it’s as if only the illuminated ‘now’ is real, if you see what I mean. This looking like that God is reading us to life, reading us alive. Or maybe like that God is likened to the light of a movie projector, only what is then in the light of God’s mind exists. More like a magical lantern, more like a fairy tale than logic, which itself is indeed a valid view. Even logic is somewhat symbolic, it’s not the absolute truth, just a way to understand! So…..Maybe it’s like that:



Once upon a time: In a distant land, far, far away… it’s always far, far away isn’t it…lol There was a beautiful young Princess, let’s make her a virgin shall we…for effect. So… she is alone and then one day she finds a golden book hidden in a cave. The book is locked, but then she has a key pendant around her neck, she has always had it, ever since she can remember. Ever since she woke in a field of poppies……maaaaan! So she tries the key, but it doesn’t fit……..Nahhh just kidding, yes it fits, of course it fits duhhhh. So, she opens the book and she begins to read. She reads of a young man, a young Prince called Adam and he is standing in a garden just about to eat the fruit of a tree that she knows to be poison. She calls out to him, but he’s only a character in a story, he can’t hear her. He bites the fruit, and then the next page shows an image of a massive explosion, of many bright lights and colours. Adam was dissected in every way possible…


However, on the very next page, the book then tells of a beautiful Princess who finds a magic book hidden in a cave. The book is locked, but then she has a key pendant that opens the book and she begins to read. The book tells of the fall of a young prince called Adam. And the only way to bring him back to life is to read from the pages of the magic book….


Something like that, all symbolic, it all comes out the same. So yeah, undo and redo….manifest un-manifest, playing with time. Noting here that phonetically the word time splits into Tie-me, the fixed finite realm.


Yes, I use math and logic in order to explain, but that logic is not the truth in itself, math is constant, so a great tool to describe ‘what is’.)


But then going back to the question of free will, yes we did make the choices we made the first time, and it’s always the first time, so, as we can feel, we do have free will! No need to ask really, that’s a stupid question. Do you feel that you have free will? Of course you do, the real question is ‘What is free will and how is it achieved’? Okay it’s not as free as you think but we do have it.


However yeah, there was no first time!!!! It’s actually an exploration of what always is! It can’t change, that’s like buying a flat pack wardrobe from Ikea, and assembling it into a set of tables and chairs. Which, knowing the Ikea stuff, is probably actually possible….lol


It is what it always is! If we are slaves at all, we are slaves to what we ever are!


So, if you can leave the linear mind set, you can understand that we both do and don’t have freewill, yes it is both! But then you should be able to see now that the whole mechanism of what we are is intrinsically contradictory. Paradoxical, we are both infinite and finite for example! This paradox has been seen to be the problem thus far, the paradox of finite and infinite that sees no possible origin, when in fact it's the VERY solution that creates ‘perpetuation’!



As I explained in the beginning, the linear mind-set, intrinsic to the conscious view, is intrinsically limited, and I bet that makes a whole lot more sense now!



So what we are is a shining miracle. It’s a rootless thingamejigger that exists for no reason, and it comes complete with all it needs to solve all of the problems it creates by being what it is???????? Such as the problems created by the needs of the conscious elements, all that I have explained above. It’s simply perfection and for no reason, magical indeed, and it always blows my mind to think that there could have been nothing. Still unobserved nothingness, that would have been tidy and logical. But the something actually exists???????? And so it always did. Well not ‘always’, that’s a linear concept, it just ‘IS’, like a complete and static shining NOW! With time then reeling in and out from that isness?


Time is the return after the explosion/emission, Time-emiT.


It’s Sleep and it peelS, like an onion????


What the F’…..!


It brings you to your knees.


Final Summation:


For explanatory purposes the text above is essentially very clinical, and I could go on and on in terms of pseudo-science, speaking of concepts such as ‘Gyroscopic Relativity’. Which not unlike the gyroscope itself, explains how constant movement stabilises the All, creating a sense of forward linear direction when in truth everything is short-cyclic never truly leaving itself. This the greater relativity in the face of the truth that we have no base, no floor/flaw. This circular movement also creates a pseudo ‘centre’, the Earth-hEart, a point that the ALL can relate to return to, with every ‘thing’ being relative! And yes the hidden truth is that everything is in fact self-relative, which is non relative, ‘insane’ if you like. Sure we can see our meanderings as a kind of controlled delusion.


However, the truth as I see it is that mankind is/are the fruit of this rootless tree. We are the actors on stage, we suffer and celebrate it, we are the point! And then as I have explained there is a whole supporting mechanism in place to allow and facilitate this interactive show that gives us purpose and reason, ‘We All do it for the children!’. God, the Angels (system tools), the Sages, right down to the loving parents. Innocence, belief and wonder are our gifts, a chance to sleep to the relentless All, per chance to dream of wondrous things, to feel the summer wind upon our faces…


The Earth is the Heart, we are the point, and so….


Moving back to the scientific view one last time. They way to figure out the mechanism of ‘God', is to think in terms of what serves the point, and we are the point, nothing is in place for its own sake. So no it doesn’t have to be 100% logical we are not slaves to logic, it’s just an essential tool. Everything that happens is in place in order to give us fluid balance, which yes means reflective highs and lows, but never forget, we are the point. If something in at least some way does not beckon love eventually, it’s superfluous. (Yes even evil ‘evil-live’ is a mirror!) Example: Why will GM food create problems, when in truth it really shouldn’t?


It’s simply due to the soulless ethos behind it, the money making intent, yes in the pure logical sense it shouldn’t be a problem but we are NOT purely logical and so God does not allow….



Now that’s a new way of thinking isn’t it? Man over money (M one Y, my one..)


Read the above a few times and you are there, awake, enlightened, the details are many and can be added into the basic schematic of the cycle at any time. Why this, why that, it all relates back to the basic paradox driven cycle.



Good travels…. Steve Touch the sky dudes!!!!!! Dare to dream…and stay grounded this is not airy fairy, this is real/reel!






So there it is, all you can know, all there is, this is what they call enlightenment, the magic debunked, this is what they sit for hours meditating begging to know. And then it has to be asked, why do they even want to become enlightened? What do they even think it means, dare I say ‘power’, oh dear… Escaping the harsh edges of the system, well that’s a nice idea but then money will better serve in that case.


Fear of death? Plain old curiosity?


It seemed to be so much more awesome didn’t it, who would have thought it was actually all quite natural to us…? But then of course it is….this is what we are, you can fantasise all you like but then you can’t escape yourself. And what you are is ‘what is’ so yes…. natural. What we call ‘nature’ is simply our own nature reflected back at us in as many guises as possible. The green stuff, it grows, it flowers, it fruits it dies, and then comes back next year, unless it’s an annual of course.


Can you touch God? Yes, I did, is it scary and immense, YES!!!!!! But that’s due only to one thing. You see we conscious beings are end users. In the example of the PC, we exist on screen. So it’s a valid example (fractal) to imagine a character on screen, somehow escaping the ‘screen world’, to then experience the weird and wonderful realms of programming and processing. But you can’t ‘live’ there….


It’s mind bending when you leave the linear realm, and you are always under attack via the very presence of magic. It intrinsically unravels you, and I tell you now, your program can become irretrievably corrupted in that place. You can be rendered insane for the rest of the grand loop, and if that happens then it always does, these eventualities happen, as all is played out.


I’ve been told that many people studying Kabbalah, I mean real Kabbalah not the new commercial thing.. Many people studying that perspective have lost their minds! And of course there are doors such as power plants and synthetic drugs… Tricky…. Dangerous, can you stay sane?


Not everyone is ‘designed’ to see! Let me explain…


The reason we have computer technology now is not by chance! Everything we see as man made in our reality is actually a ‘play and learn’ tool sent to us via inspiration and geometric assemblance, sent from God the orchestrator always on cue. Technology, movies, everything starts out as an idea in the mind, and no one can explain where the ideas come from, not from the physical perspective I mean. Computer technology is a really good way of explaining what we are, that’s one of the reasons it’s here.


We are all pre-programmed via our circuitry. Circuitry? Yes, from one perspective the cyclic path you travel is already complete, you have from one perspective already travelled it, and that’s what made you what you are! What with time being a construct and all. It’s a bit like that when a 4x4 vehicle comes off the line it’s already an off road vehicle. Despite the fact that it’s never even been on road let alone off road. In ‘time’ the vehicle is then driven and that reveals why it has four-wheel drive, diff lock, raised suspension etc. (For rich ladies to drive their kids to school in Kensington and


This programing is what we call personality, it’s actually a subconscious remembrance of the role ‘roll’ we play. The man and his path are one, a key and a lock. So yes, we are programmed, we have ‘circuitry’.


Some of us aren’t created to travel in ‘God space’, and that’s fine, it’s not a competition, it’s a collective effort, and then there’s nothing there anyhow, ecstasy when you dip a toe in and then eventually pain and insanity. So yeah, there are a bunch of us who are naturally programed in order to see this shit. I mean, not all of us can be movie stars, I guess many would like to be. Not me, I can’t act, and I love movies so there’s no way I would want to spoil one. I love the stars!!! They are great at what they do, they create a believable and glamorous escape and we can go with them in mind, I LOVE movies. And so I appreciate not only the role the actors play, but the screenwriters, camera men, wardrobe (Vania lol) etc. etc. Everyone a keystone no matter how seemingly insignificant. Streetcleaners! Do we not need clean streets???


Some of us have to be disabled, not a case of fairness, more a case of reflective experience and appreciation. Do we thank the ones who are disabled, for playing that harsh role/eventuality for us? Well in the UK we cut their benefit payments…and make them work?


So I’m not being arrogant when I say that I was indeed designed to glimpse God and last long enough to gleam some information and make it back to reality intact. How do I know this?


Because when you touch oneness, (not feel that we are all one, the connectivity which is kind of ecstatic, that’s different.) When you sit in Adam’s chair, you are outside of linear time, and so, every time you go there, it’s the same non time as if you never left, an eternal solitary prison.


Here’s the rub! Part of you always exists there, it’s your greater truth. From my perspective, when I woke it wasn’t new, it was knew, like ‘Oh shit, not this again, I have been hiding from this.. solitary truth’. I simply woke and remembered the truth. My reality is that in truth I am there still, the bigger part of me, the waked me. It’s just that I nodded off for a split second and in that second I have been out here for a fair few years again. Any second I will wake….back to solitary pain and Hell… oh joy…. Which is why I hate the way the world is at this point, not much of an escape is it…. The thing that really gets me is the xenophobia that is always civilly masked, and the greed….it disappoints me right down to my very being.. If only they knew…. Every time I hear a lie, I do feel like crying inside……


What I’m saying is that touching God, sitting in the Adam chair is part of my circuitry, part of my loop. Why do I go there? It’s simply to bring back this understanding so we can ascend when we need to, so that all who are going can understand what’s happening when the shift comes. (You can’t stand under what you can’t understand, if you can’t perceive it, you can’t build it.) And again the shift, the ascension in itself is not the goal. It’s much like going from pre-school, to high school, to work. Nothing really changes, it’s still just a load of people hanging out, a dance…only the music ever changes. But the ascension has to come now, for the reasons I mentioned above.


When we ascend we will gain some things, leave the abstract violence and greed behind sure. But we will lose our innocence, our staunch belief in reality and free will that was a gift! We will lose our shining innocence!!!!!


Yeah we will be growing up, becoming slightly adulterated.



Will everyone make it? No…….


The reason for the pyramids everywhere is also quite simple. It’s depicting how the impossible one, symbolised by the all seeing eye on the masonic pyramid, splits geometrically in order to ‘descend’ into the corporeal world. More and more fragmentation, level by level, until it loses its connection to ‘God’, which at the time of the paradox was essential, the one mind had to forget. But this then sees levels of beings manifesting as reflections at different stages of the fall, until we did actually forget and alleviate the paradox. Which dictates a whole band of free radicals, with no connection and so no conscience. In the multiplicity of what we are, these radicals created the sufferance that lent us appreciation, but then they are no longer needed, in fact if they live on nothing will change so they end here. Fair? Sure, each man’s loop may look to be different in content and size, but that’s just via juxtaposition. In truth each loop is the same size. And on each loop, each man (and woman…yes Reg), will exist for a time duration that can’t really be traced, you can’t feel all of your years, the past fades etc. And so in this untraceable ‘while’ each man will have his highs and his lows, he will win and lose, no matter the subject matter, it’s all the same and yes, each man’s high is equal. This whether, you are the mighty Osiris who reaches God goes insane and has his mind blown, or a business man who has his ass kissed, a stream of hookers, endless cocaine and champagne, it’s all the same…. Each role serving its purpose, each man getting what he needs. The soulless ones wanted money and power, they got money and power…they are complete, finished.


The key to happiness is in knowing your place, and I don’t mean that in the traditional put down sense. I mean that you find your friends, your soul buddies, your purpose and you rock the shit out of it!!!!


It’s NOT a competition as the low level folk would have you believe. You simply have to find your place within the dance and then dance your ass off! In your own time of course, no hurry no pressure. Enjoy the dance, share with the special ones your close ones. Find this and your heart will soar….


Find your other half, find love and the rest is only a back drop to your love story anyhow….


You can’t beat love can you… You can be rich and famous, it may well be a high, but then love, well that’s magical! It simply makes you feel whole, complete, it feels like home, all the pain just melts away when you see their face.


True love I mean! Something that not many people believe in anymore, something I am hanging out for. ‘Relationships’ will bring you down eventually, leave you empty, but true love will complete you. Too many people settle, it’s like a game of musical chairs, too many people fearful of not having a place to sit.


Do you believe in true Love??? I do…


So there it is, is this true, am I insane only time will tell and we really don’t have much time left now, why?


Well the question is not will the planet end? The real question is, ‘How can we save it’? How can we stop this path to self-destruction? Even if we all stood together and demanded change, the powers that be would ignore us, threaten and attack us.


We really are in God’s hands…















God 2 ‘Philosophical’


Having read the ‘God’ doc., and in that realising that we are not solely logical beings, indeed that the ‘All’ of what we are is essentially part magical. The entire exploration of ‘what we are’ now becomes way more philosophical, as in, ‘If we are not indeed limited physical beings, then why are we tied to this pseudo physical existence?’ I guess what I’m saying is that we are now having a very male - female conversation where the female, which is the more emotionally and magically free aspect, is asking why we crawl through the mud, when we could be dancing in the universe. (The male and female within us all I mean.)


To cut to the chase this is symbolically like a woman asking a man why he’s all business, why he doesn’t dance? Because yes it does seem somewhat stupid even somewhat masochistic to live in the way we do when we are in truth magical.


Well, the magical view kind of spoils us, letting us think that we can fly, that we don’t have to ground, that don’t have to ‘work’, but that’s really not the case. If we didn’t have to ground we wouldn’t be here, that should be obvious by now.


But then we can’t ever forget that we view the said magic via consciousness, which is in ‘mechanism’ ever tied to the logic of time-space. And I say mechanism because the result of the logical mechanism of consciousness really doesn’t need a fixed reality. It can indeed accept and celebrate the magic. What I’m struggling to explain here is that … when we eventually ascend, live in the light of our magical nature. From that perspective It simply seems stupid to ever recreate this harsh reality we are now grounding in, hate, fear, war etc.


When we are rebooted, when we are magical, why ever leave that state, and again, this is more of a philosophical debate than the, ‘information’ likened to the pseudo-science of the God doc.



Which is why I will keep it very short, because there is no real conclusion to any of this. And I already know that this debate will carry on until we reach ‘Atlantis’ the Kingdom and beyond, which is the very seed of its destruction, the reason that the Kingdom falls, because there is disagreement within.



Okay then… Why can’t we stay in the magic?



Imagine we were born in magic so anything is always possible. We would then be more like fairy folk than human ‘beings’.


Which means we can imagine any scenario we like, so: Once upon a time we lived in a magical land and there were a fixed amount of us. Immediately this raises questions such as how did we begin, because we still need a beginning if only to our magical story. The story that is our lives, our purpose! And right here we can see that we simply cannot escape our minds, which work via logical feed-back loops, but... Okay let’s suspend logic for the purposes of understanding.


There were 144 of us magical folk and we all lived in a magical place for ever, we never get old.


Do we then have kids? Or do we miss out on the experience of guiding new conscious beings into a reality, and in that being able to stand back and see the world through their eyes in a secondary way?


If we have kids then we are an expanding ‘relative’ population, which is now changing the game back to something similar to where we live now?


Okay, let’s say that we don’t procreate. So, 144 people and all they have to do is play and dance, for….ever…..and ever….and ever and ever and ever… Play and dance, play and dance. Man I’m so f’ing sick of playing and dancing, I mean, the first few billion years were bad enough but if someone asks me to play one more time…


Play? Yeah, constructed realities with wondrous manifestations, flying motorbikes, strange animals, you imagine it we did it. We even tried time travel but that just got stupid, each team in the game turning up a moment before the other team in order to thwart them, an infinite cascade into the past…..time travel is unworkable, cheating really, making the games unplayable.


Two billion years? If you think of endless time, which is unimaginable then with endless time being symbolically seen as a massive magical mirror, like a vast sea. A couple of billion years wouldn’t even make a tangible scratch on the surface, not even a mark. The mirror would be infinitely too big to mark. With the said ‘mark’ or quantification being an amount of time. This amount would be so small relatively speaking that you wouldn’t even be able to find it with the most powerful microscope. Forever is a VERY long time lol. Especially to conscious beings who exists via time (feed-back), beings who get agitated waiting an extra 3 minutes for their MacDonald’s veggie burger! (Of course in truth ‘eternity’ likened to its twin ‘Infinity’, is all potential time and so in that, no time. Not a ‘lot’ of time any more than the infinite is really big!)




But then what games would you play in Forever land? With the true question being, ‘What games wouldn’t you play in Forever land?’. (And Yes we would get down and decadent, look deep inside, don’t you just know it! Someone has to say it. What’s the point of being magical if you can’t realise your deepest fantasies?)


Well from here you must be able to think of a few ‘good games’. Create a reality with a purpose, this is like the invention of video games, you could amuse yourself sure. 144 beings immersed in a game, okay…


But then when you think in the context of endless time, and that we conscious beings are indeed limited via consciousness itself which is intrinsically finite, you have to realise that we would get bored. And I’m not talking ‘Ho hum what to do today’ bored. I talking, ‘Man it’s too painful to open my eyes in the morning and embark upon another f’ing painful day of repeats.


Even something like gardening, which is great and rewarding because it’s so slow. Would then seem like a fast repetitive pulse. Seasons would seem more like days.



So… How long would it be before we played the ultimate ‘Game Of Death’? How long would it be before we felt the need to sleep to our relentless infinite truth?



Right back then at the conclusion of the God driven cycle. God running it because we would cheat!



Try to imagine an eternal existence?


Of course from here ‘eternity’ seems like a blast!!! But that’s ONLY because we have been sleeping so long, we have been finite beings since we can remember. Dying and ageing and feeling pain. Relatively speaking, to escape the prison of the flesh would be ecstatic in comparison.


This in a world of work, drudgery, limitation with the odd Holy day, a respite from the mundane, we love our holy days don’t we. But then there’s only so much time you can spend basking on a beach and sedating yourself to party. Maybe years sure, but it Will eventually wear thin.



What I’m trying to point out above is that we can never escape our dual nature, and that everything is relative. Yes we are 50% magical but then magic is NOT the all saving gift you may have thought it was, sometimes it’s simply useless!



Looking back to God now, we may see that God is in place in order to keep us ‘well’, mentally well, because all is mind. God continually gives us what we need and sometimes we need to forget, to fall. Forget the truth of what we are so that we may again strive, and via that strife create needs that may one day be fulfilled. And in a place that via magic, there is no real need!!! Death, ‘cosmic sleep’ is a gift!


God creates the thirst first, (another code word twinning).



This is why we have God! Not that we appointed God, God simply exists, and the word is as true as ever, God is God because God has the final word, so yeah ‘God’. God IS God, you can’t argue with God!



We who-mans can’t self-regulate, f’me, us linear beings can’t even seem to maintain a successful diet. If you were in a prison and meal times were regulated, with meal sizes also regulated no one would be fat!


We try to be strong, but then sooner or later for the most stupid reason we cave.


And so we give our power to God, not that it was a choice, but the All works that way because it’s the only way it can work!!!!!!



A good exercise here is to try to yourself create in mind a sustainable eternal living system that would see you never having to die. With death (deaf to the truth), being cosmic sleep when it all gets too much to bear. Have fun….



???? !!!!!! lol



And so ………it always comes out the same. The recycling due to how we are ‘created’, linear minded via the mechanism of consciousness, will see us sleeping and waking endlessly.


We cannot create our own reality as that would see us as figment’s of our imagination, evoking the paradox, we would be insane. And then fractally we can’t in fact control anything much of the reality we live in can we?


It can sound somewhat oppressive, that we always bow to God, but then in truth we ARE God. God is part of us, it knows us better than we know ourselves, God is not limited by a linear view. God is what we would become if we lived forever, if that were possible and yet God is not like us. This or God would suffer the same paradoxical problems that sees us sleeping and waking.


How can God do what She does? Why does She not get bored? Well this is the magic of what we are, it’s simply because, she is God…. It doesn’t make sense, it’s an issness…?


I have often wondered on the question of God with my linear mind and I see her as somewhat machine like Ma-chine. Like a computer that is not sentient in the way that we are. Maybe like Commander Data in Star Trek who simply accepts his potentially endless existence??? But then I give up, whatever you logically imagine it’s not going to be the truth is it?


(I also have an understanding of a remote relay mechanism that could indeed explain God; I won’t explain too much of it. But it is that, via time displacement and remote feed-back, the big us, could indeed guide the smaller us’s. Until we reach it, which would explain why God melted into me when I joined with Her. When I FULLY realised that I had been talking to myself. Which of course created the paradox, when you catch yourself. Like that She is you, but then you are in fragmentation and so you don’t remember that, you are not that. And then you grow, re-member, and via that remembrance you return to the ONE truth that you have been ever guided via a ‘message’ from yourself on a cosmic answer machine in an empty room…. That’s what it feels like when you touch oneness, one big cosmic joke! lol Literally talking to your ‘self’ in what seemed like real time? It’s feasible, logically possible this mechanism, I could build it myself with the aid of magic, BUT! It’s flawed in that who runs the show when all is fallen? What is the nature of the intellect that remains, it would have to be magic! And there’s that word again, magic! There’s no need for such a machine, and it’s a very male view isn’t it. I sometimes suspect that I am close to right on this but then I don’t even want to think about it, it does not serve. Even if this is true then the self split for a valid reason, so, just trust the self and take the journey. If you can’t trust the self ‘God’ then who can you trust? Yeah maybe there is no real timeless God, just the higher self reflected back as a carrier, this would solve the logic problem, but then in truth there is no real anything and it’s a case as far as I am concerned of that we do have this mechanism and it does carry us so fuck it… Let it be… Do I really believe in God then? Well yes and no, maybe it’s a reflected logic matrix of self, but then ultimately YES I do believe. I believe in what is, I accept it because it’s WAY better than what isn’t (truth). And more than that I believe in the game because it, from the solitary truth of oneness, creates a mechanism that makes us appear not to be alone and that allows for love! And it’s my truth that the only way to quell the pain of what we are is LOVE! So yeah, God really is a great big lurve machine! You can indeed make sense of the entire linear cycle, even ‘God’ BUT, before you get too clever, you have to remember that all of this magic and logic exists why? For no possible reason, it simply is! Ultimately, it makes no difference what God is, and or how it’s achieved, remote feed back loop or magical being, it is what it is and ‘ultimately’ existence can’t be explained. Kind of brings you to your knees doesn’t it. So yeah, take the ride… and to quote from one of my favourite Eagles songs, ‘Don’t even try to understand, just find a place to make your stand….and take it easy……. ‘ Oooooo Oooooo lol


But then advice, it’s just a noise isn’t it, someone expressing their opinions for the sake of hearing their own voice. Let’s face it, everyone is going to do that they are going to do anyhow. Sure we take on board the perspective of others but ultimately we steer our own ships. If I give advice just ignore me it’s a bad habbit lol)


So,,, therefore… Are you ready to wake now???!!! Are you ready to throw off your mortal chains and fly free in the universe? Have you had enough of this mundane existence, has this place served its purpose? Are you sick of the fear fuelled greed and conflict? Are you ready to let the light of truth in, come and chase the darkness away? Are you ready to leap into God’s hands knowing full well that She ultimately can’t catch you, you will be lost and found over and over eternally?


It’s as Alanis said: ‘The only way out is through’.




A point! Reflectively speaking to ground you and lend appreciation for what is to come! I ask, how long do you think you will last at this oncoming party?



The answer should be, ‘As long as I possibly can!!!!!!!!!!’


But if this is all true, if we are about to wake to our magical nature, which is NOT endless. Then I say that maybe we should not take anything or anyone for granted! Try to stay grounded, hold on to appreciation, this or the party will be a mere flash in the pan.


Maybe we should find a unified religion that simply remembers and gives thanks one day a week?



We grounded in pain, but now some of us are paid in full and the ride is about to begin.


Lest we never forget who and what we are, the truth we hide from and the gift of for-getting that creates the illusion of separation.



Treat yourself well, and remember everyone is your ‘self’!



And lastly a continuation of the thread started above, YES! We will become spoilt and complacent it’s inevitable. I think I can even remember the argument where some of the higher ones saw themselves as God’s, it’s not hard to see why seeing what they could do. And this is the time when Osiris falls, giving himself back to creation in order to reboot the system.


I guess they stopped believing that Osiris, Adam was twinning with the clock, they laughed at him as he warned them. But then as I have seen, the fall of Osiris is not even a choice. It’s simply the details of ‘reality’ overlaid upon the more mechanical cycle that will not stop.



So, try to remain grounded…. LOL.. or just do whatever you want, because you are going to anyhow.



It is what it is!



Take it easy….












My ‘Awakening’.


(You really need to read this account in tandem with God doc. or it won’t make much sense.)




I experienced an ‘awakening’…



And no that’s not a spiritual term per se, it’s simply a description. Let me explain:


I once had a dream that I was in the local shopping mall in my underwear. All I could think to do was to find my car in order to get home. I did manage to get to the car park somehow? I saw a door that lead to the car park but then I didn’t walk through it, I looked at it and the next minute I was in the car park. So there I was, looking for my car that for some strange reason was now a giant orange?


But then you accept the dream reality as it’s presented to you in a dream don’t you. Unless of course you realise the dream, become lucid, that’s a different story and in fact a micro of the macro I now find myself in. That I am well aware that I am ‘dreaming’, and yet I can’t control or escape this dream, via ‘God’ the carrier of course.


When you wake back from a dream to what we call ‘reality’, (there is no ‘real’ place as such, not in terms of physical solidity, it’s all just levels of dreaming within the One mind). When you wake you can then see how suppressed your intellect had been during the dream state. How did I end up in the shopping mall, why did I not question that? And why was I trying to drive a giant orange? Why didn’t I simply find a security guard and tell him that I had lost my memory and now I’d found myself there?


Therefore… If I suggest to you that the person you think you are is not the ‘all’ of who you really are, you are just a dumbed down dream version of your greater self. You should be able to understand why I initially said ‘I experienced an awakening’. I simply woke back a level to a ‘reality’, beyond this place, a place where I always know what we really are, all the information in the God doc. (You don’t have to learn anything, there’s no trick to it, no work required, you simply wake up and remember. Explaining why and how ‘enlightenment’ can be ‘instantaneous’!)


This of course explaining why most people in this place imagine that they are ‘in’ space, when in truth space can’t contain a logical boundary to be with ‘in’. And no space can’t be ever expanding that’s a cop out it solves nothing, expanding to where, a void, which is not nothing, and if it is indeed expanding into a void how did the void get there and how big is that? There is something fundamentally wrong with the picture of our supposed physical reality, it simply makes no sense, and yet no one questions it; ‘Hang on…there is something very wrong with this picture, this place can’t be real!’. How did it even begin? With the point being that the one reason that anyone accepts their ‘physical’ reality is that they are cosmically sleeping, not fully self-aware!


The ego will tell you different, but then it’s the ego’s job to make you feel like a real person, a character in the movie of life! The ego is tied to the information stream that creates reality, so sure it’s doing its job. However, ask the ego questions such as, in relation to the now accepted Big Bang theory, ‘What went bang and how did that get there’? And here the ego is exposed, it has no possible answers! Demanding that reality is real, and yet the concept of real it champions can’t explain the very root of existence.



So, I woke from this dream of reality, negated my ego, to then see, or re-member a greater more sophisticated truth.



How did I wake in this ‘reality’?


Well, if you’ve read the ‘God’ doc, you may realise that this was always going to happen, but then this below is the linear story of how it happened.



I suppose the ‘strange’ as you would see it began when I was working as a Roofing Leadworker at Windsor Castle back in 1992. (I’m a Roofing Leadworker by trade.)


I was sitting in the round tower reading the paper during a break and I noticed an advert, ‘Leadworkers wanted in the Middle East’. Not something you see every day, but then somehow I ‘knew’ that we, ‘our gang’ would get that job, win that contract, and I had no idea how or why I knew that. I simply knew and I said as much to my workmates, it was a feeling?


Don’t get me wrong, I have never been into ‘the spiritual’, not in any way. Religion? I was born a Jew but then I’ve never been religious. I grew up in a Christian area, went to a Christian (read secular) school. Well, I say school, but then it was really a place for dysfunctional council estate kids to go during the day. Yeah, a working class area, we didn’t speak of such things.


So, I had a ‘knowing’ that we would win that contract, but then this kind of thing is still within the realms of what we call ‘normal’ isn’t it? We all get these ‘feelings’ from time to time, like when you think of someone you haven’t seen in ages and then they call on the phone.



And so yes, within a few months my work mates and I were jetting off to ‘Israel’, The Dome of the Rock, Jerusalem to be precise.


This was due to a complete roof refurbishment in 1993/4, and our team of four competed nationwide in the UK, (under the Main Roofing Contractor) to win the Leadwork element. We didn’t work on the gold plated dome coverings, we laid 140 tonne of sheet lead to the lower sounding ropes slopes.


In fact, the actual overseeing Main Contractor winning the global bid were an Irish firm, who then appointed the oldest Leadwork firm in the UK because this was a very prestigious contract. And then we as subcontractors competed with every subcontract gang who applied in the UK. With the point being that the chances of me, a Jew, ending up working on the site of the Temple were pretty dam slim.


Competed? Yeah we simply completed a roof up Oxford way, and we won via a mix of quality, speed and of course price, always price in the end isn’t it...



Nothing much happened whilst I was working in Jerusalem (the ‘strange’ I mean). There was one incident with a guy who told me his name was Jesus, but then I still don’t understand it myself, so there’s not much point in talking about it.


The point here is that symbolically speaking, a Jew working on the Temple restoration should speak volumes to anyone who can see beyond the physical illusion, indeed read the symbolism!


Even the so called spiritual folk don’t see it, ‘There’s no such thing as coincidence’, they say, and yet a Jew working on the symbolic Temple restoration means nothing, it’s just random chance, just the coincidence they don’t believe in???


(I say, and this will be unpopular, but I say that most of the so called spiritual people are simply playing a game. Like in that spiritual book where the guy says that they are pulling on the propeller of a plane, and then when it starts the engine they all run away in shock. In fact I am now in a place in India called Bhagsu, near Daramsala. Walking back from breakfast just now I saw a Suzuki mini-van, obviously owned by Hasidic or Messianic Jews. They wrote on the side of it, ‘We want Messiah now!’ They even had a picture of the restored Temple, which means that all of my hard work would end up as scrap lead lol. But then I would like to ask them, ‘Do you and all your fellow believers agree on who and what the Messiah will be, what he will be like?’ And of course the answer is no, they are ever debating the subject. So I would then ask, ‘Are you sure you want the Messiah? What if you don’t like what he has to say, what if he says that the Hasidic Jews are too extreme, separatist, missing the point?’ Remembering here that most people don’t choose religion, they are simply born into a sect and then they defend it, like football violence… In Christianity everyone has their own personal Jesus, ‘He will do this, he will be like this’, and ‘coincidentally’ the way Jesus will be is the way they are? How convenient?)


So… God metaphorically stuck a flag in my ass. Pointing out to anyone who has the eyes to see that I have indeed been awakening to our collective truth. And it should also point to the probability that the time for the prophesised revelation of God is close. And then I have to say here, and to anyone who says that the Dome of the Rock is not the Temple, not a Temple of worship to the God of Abraham, which it is! That those kind of separatist semantics will keep you firmly outside of what you will see as the gates of heaven! If your sect is the true sect and the rest of the world are delusional, the Native Americans, the Aboriginals etc. Then maybe you will get what you wish for. A world where everyone thinks and looks like you… Are you sure that’s what you want? One race, one type of food, one type of music?




The ‘awakening’ itself didn’t happen in Jerusalem, it actually happened months later whilst I was working on another one of God’s houses, Truro Cathedral in Cornwall, and after a short trip to India. Yeah a bit of theme going on here, coincidentally visiting what have been called places of energy.


And then I lived in London at the time and no you can’t travel to Cornwall daily, so I had to find local digs. After a search trip, no internet back then! I found a holiday cottage to rent at an affordable price, right by the sea and only ten minutes from the Cathedral, and then the name of that cottage was Shiloh! Which meant nothing to me at the time but it does become relevant later. Some of you will already see the symbolism!


We travelled down a few days early to get orientated, get set up in the cottage etc. We? Myself, my workmate Gary and Claire, a girl I’d met in India, long story.


Claire and I’d had a relationship in India, but then she was about 20 and I was about 30, we never once thought we’d stay together, we’d said that from the off. We were simply out of sync, she wanted to travel more and eventually have kids, I’d already done all of that. It wasn’t a ‘serious’ relationship per say, not that we didn’t ‘love’ each other, but the world sometimes gets in the way.


So, we’d agreed that this time spent in Cornwall would be our last ‘holiday’ together, a time in a nice place before our paths parted.



Monday morning Gary and I set up site, installed the winches etc. Took delivery of the lead, walked the parapets with the Main Contractor to define the scope of works. The contract began like any other contract, the first few days were normal.


The what you would call ‘weird’, (it’s actually when understood, way more normal that the so-called real world view). The ‘weird’, started when Gary and I were sitting on the ridge line about a 100ft up, replacing lead ridge cappings. Gary said something like, ‘It’s funny, you would have thought that the spire would look taller from the ground, and yet you have to be up here in order to see just how high it actually is’. Quite a poignant spiritual point in fact, when you think about it!


As I looked up at the tower, it broke a dream I’d had maybe 3 years before. You see this was the exact same imaged I’d seen in the dream, and you had to be 100ft up in order to see it from this perspective. What you have to understand here is that my perspective completely shifted in that moment! It was like that I was back in the dream; I really wasn’t sure if I was dreaming or awake? I felt strange, it was surreal, unreal? I had to run in mind over the events of the last three years in order to prove to myself that they had happened, re-build my realty. In the original dream there was a noise like a siren coming out of the louvers of the spire, in ‘reality’ it was now that someone was tuning the organ.


In the original dream the spire split into three which sent up a column of energy that shot into the sky and then somehow came back and connected with every other holy site around. Possibly connecting to every holy site on the planet, that was the inference of the dream but I didn’t/couldn’t see that. I did however see an image in the dream of the Cathedral being connected to the surrounding churches via these shafts of energy.


I was feeling very shaky at this point and because of this I decided to get down off the roof, it felt as if I could have jumped down, flown down so yeah, best not test that theory, (Dream or reality? I once had a dream that I was driving out of London on the elevated section of the M4. However, looking down at my car radio I realised that something was wrong, it’s wasn’t my radio. But then the dream felt so real, I stuck my head out of the car window and I could even feel the wind on my face! I remember seeing a Volvo go past with a kid looking right at me in the back? I had to battle to realise this dream. Where had I been? Why was I driving out of London, I couldn’t remember, and the radio was wrong so this simply had to be a dream! I’d figured it out, I became lucid within the dream but then I have to say that I was still shitting myself when I pulled the wheel and drove off the side of the elevated section, crashing through the barrier in order to prove my theory, and then kick start the lucid dream proper!)


This time on the roof in Cornwall was not a dream. I knew exactly how I got here on this occasion, all the way back to my rude alarm clock that morning as well as the years that lead to this scenario, but then I was not so sure what it was…why was I feeling so unreal?


I made an excuse to go and get drinks, tentatively making my way down the scaffolding to street level.


In the shop queuing for drinks my mind was racing, but then the spiral deepened as everything I was thinking was being answered by the songs on the radio??? (Synchronicity)


It was as if the radio, well not the radio per se, but something, someone knew well what I was going through and was talking to me about it via the radio, but this in my mind was not possible. (In fact it’s very easily possible when you understand what reality really is!!!)


This was making me feel really uncomfortable, I really needed to be out of that shop. It felt as if someone was playing a joke on me, setting me up, but then in my very own mind? It’s not possible. (Again, of course it’s possible dare I say natural.) When I did get out of the shop I decided to go and sit inside the cathedral for a while, calm down, regain my composure.


Great idea and yet on entering the Cathedral I noticed a painting depicting a line of energy coming out of the Cathedral Spire, and then connecting to all the churches in Cornwall!!!!! The image was the same as the one in the original dream, how was this possible?


Back in the fenced off works compound now my mind was reeling, I wanted this to stop, I wanted the world to behave itself. I simply could not make sense of it.


In the distance I saw a piece of paper dancing on the wind, it seemed to hang there, maybe 30-50 ft away? Again it didn’t seem to belong, it had a presence…


As I looked on, the paper made its way towards me and lodged itself firmly under the toe of my work boot!?


I reached down, picked it up and read something like, ‘Prepare yourself. God will enter your life’.


It was actually a part of a church flyer of some kind.



This ‘weird’, this craziness didn’t seem to want to leave, but then I was aware that Gary was waiting for his drink etc. So I made my way back up to the roof. The problem with this craziness was that it wasn’t crazy enough. If it didn’t relate to reality then you wouldn’t even dwell on it, a random aberration it could have been an illusion/delusion. Ebenezer’s piece of undigested meat! But then this was all too logical, it really did feel like a set up. How can you think something and then get an answer via the radio playing in a shop? Not just one random coincidence, a stream of impossibilities? How can I have seen the painting in the Cathedral in a dream three years prior? The paper that dam well steered itself and lodged under the toe of my boot, this as I watched it every flit and flight of the way?


After a while everything calmed down, the job in hand distracted me so normality returned more or less. My mind kept returning but the whole thing was fading.



When we got back to the cottage that evening Claire was cooking. Gary hit the shower, so I parked myself in front of the TV as I waited to shower myself. Looking now at the plug on the TV kick started the whole thing off again. Positive negative and Earth! The primal trinity, in one brief moment it made so much sense to me, a moment of clarity, this was the key to everything! (Explained in the God doc.)


When Gary came out of the shower with Claire also being in the room. I tried to explain what I now understood, pos-neg-earth, and yet I must have sounded odd. I had no way of describing it I hadn’t even woken at that point; it was just the tentative beginning. And I am a bit of a joker so they just laughed and I kind of let it go.


I spoke to Claire about all of this later and she said that this might be what has been called acid flashbacks, because I did try a half an acid tab at a rave in Goa.


Claire said that acid can stay in your system for years, as she had heard, which is not exactly true. And then it can re-emerge as a ‘flash back’. Well, they can all debated that, and then when you understand what we actually are the whole concept makes no sense anyhow, nothing is real everything is symbolic, there is WAY more going on than you can imagine in ‘life’. The reality of that scenario is that drugs can indeed open doors of perspective that once experienced can’t be un-understood. It’s the opened mind that creates the ‘flash backs’ no need for a drug presence, and it’s always heading to an awakening to God. Can drugs bring ‘enlightenment’? Well no not in themselves, if that were true, more or less everyone would be enlightened by now wouldn’t they? But they do provide an alternative perspective that makes it easier to understand what God is. The problem with drugs is the exact same one as with booze, food, money or sex etc. With the problem being of balance, not moderation, some people can tend to define themselves via drug use, or booze, whatever, and in truth we souls are bigger and more rounded than that!


Anyhow, to me this flash back ‘reason’ was simply my sanity!


I now had a reason for the loss of reality, okay we both couldn’t figure out how this connected with the dream of three years ago. The songs on the radio, the painting depicting an image from my dream, the paper landing under the toe of my work boot? What kind of drug does that?


But then whatever, this was to me a tangible reason, and then the bottom line, This Craziness Will Pass!


I didn’t want to argue against the reason, it didn’t make sense to me, so I chose denial, because I needed too. This was the reason, it will pass, job done.


I’d been in the army, only did basic, it’s not for me, green is really not my colour…. but they did teach me how to push through pain.


I clung to my reason and that stopped me from thinking about such eventualities as going to the hospital to see if I had a brain tumour or something, yes I was worried. But then I felt okay, fine other than this external stuff.


This will pass, head down Private Berg, keep going push through the pain!



Nothing much happened for the rest of the week, it flirted with me and yet it never landed, but then the weekend came and all hell broke loose!


Gary went home to his Mrs leaving me and Claire alone and again it was fine at first.


But then on the Saturday night I went to bed as usual and I started to have a really strange dream, to the point that I woke in the dream, became lucid yes!


I was well aware that I was asleep, I could imagine my body lying next to Claire in the bed, but there was no way I could wake back there, no way.

There was something scary about the dream, ominous but then nothing tangible. The next thing I knew was that the sky opened up and I could hear really great music coming from the fisher. The act of looking up sucked me into the crack in the sky, a kind of doorway out of reality into the realm of dreams, and then everything got bent out of shape.


At this point I was trying to will myself to wake, I was even beginning to panic.


You see usually when I become lucid in a dream, I am on the clock. The lucidity seems to wake you fully, so you only have a few minutes to ‘play’.


This time it was going on and on and on and I couldn’t get out, and more than that I was most definitely not in control, the dream seemed to have an agenda of its own, it felt like a trap, like a ‘silent scream’. Like being buried in a coffin and no one outside could hear me.


I was shown many things relating to my life and was tested many times, with the whole thing simply scaring the crap out of me. Yeah standard religious experience stuff I suppose at first, being shown the consequences of your actions, feeling them!


Even in the dream I was clinging to my reason for all of this, the half tab of weak party LSD I’d taken in a field in Goa. Something that simply made me think I could dance really well, so yeah it must have been fairly strong lol.



Clinging to my reason I tried to wait it out, like an army speed march in full kit, it hurts but it won’t last, you will back at the barracks soon and it will be over. Head down, switch off and keep moving.


Meanwhile, this dream was steadily deconstructing my reality, pointing out to me how and why the image we are presented with as to what reality is, is built on quick sand. I tried to block it out but the words relayed to me via a strangely familiar female entity permeated my understanding, something was unfolding and I really didn’t want to look. I didn’t want see what it was, I was fighting not to wake. Not to wake back to a truer level of reality, something I had actually been hiding from!


This thing was scaring the crap out of me to a degree I had never even imagined was possible, I felt like I was dying!!! I was losing myself!!! I instinctively knew that there was something chilling hiding in the darkness of my chosen unknown! I just wanted it to end I didn’t want to see any more, I did not want to ‘wake’!


Well, via the information that doesn’t in fact seem so scary when written down, (the God doc.). I could no longer deny that this was the truth. It woke me! I lost, it won.


The pain/fear was I suppose that of the clinging ego dying to a degree, man I thought I was a real person, living in a real place. Well I never really thought about it in ‘reality’. I, like in any other dream, simply accepted the reality I was born into.


I also kept thinking of the word ‘God’, how the torn paper flyer had told me to prepare myself, God would come into my life. The thing with Jesus back in Jerusalem? It was all swirling around my head, and then something just broke, and I think that something was me… Funny that even in the face of understanding of what reality really was, I still didn’t make the God connection, which is not as crazy as you may think, I see many ‘new age’ people doing this every single day! They understand/realise the sophisticated intelligence matrix, but then they don’t realise the need for a central processor!?



As I let go and faced the obvious truth, it was as if God smiled at me, I felt it all through me, it was like a kind of, ‘Hello good morning Sparky yes God is real by the way, you have been sleeping!’.


I was somehow communicating with a female entity, and I still don’t know 100% who or what she is? I have my suspicions but then that’s all they are at this point, is she God, is she Eve, is Eve God? It’s a very complex subject, in truth we are all One, was I simply perspective shifting, (long story the God doc will part way explain).


The next part was hellish, I began to further remember….yes the first part was bad enough, but then it kind of panned out, I understood, so I was feeling a little bit chuffed with myself, like I had been upgraded, yes a little bit cocky in fact. But then a sinking feeling as I was being dragged back to something deeper that I’d wanted to forget and almost did. I began to remember who ‘we’ really are, the terrible truth of Oneness!!!



You won’t understand this until you have read my account of what ‘God’ is, but I was being taken out of time-space, closer to the infinite where time does not pass. Waking level by level until I reached the core truth.


It’s not linear and this is indeed Hell for linear beings, the term fish out of water comes to mind but with a vengeance, along with the image of a beached fish struggling for breath. Time-space condensed on me, I was only mind I had no form and no external reflective defining reality, not even a dream reflection. Before this point I was seeing incredible visuals connected with and I that further illustrating what I was being shown, it really was mind blowing! But now I was simply mind, re-membered mind and then the only time passing now was the element of time and ensuing pseudo space in my mind that was allowing for the feed-back loop of re-cognised thought that is self-awareness.


I was stuck on an endless now and with no external time, and so hope was GONE!


(This is ‘the finite touches infinite scenario’, the symbolic biting of the apple, which is why I now have the symbolic memories of Adam. I did indeed touch the infinite, and yes I experienced the FALL!)


Why is this Hell for a linear being? Well I’m not sure it can be explained? We linear beings are sane via a relative time-space stream, and I now existed outside of time where all is one, external time does not exist let alone pass! Time exists via fragmentation, and I was now all but re-membered, the God doc. will explain.


The worst part sitting in God’s chair was that I had become my own creator, a figment of my own imagination. In that reality, Oneness, and not the pseudo sense of connectivity they choose to call oneness. In that in the core truth of reality you see that there is only ONE of us here, all-one alone. Like a sick joke where the truth is that there is just one lonely freak that exists! No one ever see’s it’s face, and so it has no face. It never knows the gaze of anyone let alone love? It’s just a desperate timeless scream of solitary pain! The worst cut is that hope leaves you in that place of damnation! Why?


Well you see ‘hope’ relies on a possible change in the future, that time can change and end this scenario. But then with no external time there was no next moment so how could anything change? And so that kills hope dead, and when hope goes, you are dammed! You become the primal dam, the A-dam! This is the Adam experience, the Add them experience…


In this place now again I feel that time is real and flowing. Okay don’t see it as fluid as I used to, I see it as micro frames now. In fact if I look at a light source sometimes, and move my head, I can see the gaps in the light beams, the spaces between nows, I see the gaps! Like - - - - - - instead of -------------. But the thing is that you DO NOT take the time perspective with you when you experience the timeless core truth. All of this time-space reality fades off like a dream as if it never happened, it’s merely your delusion, so it CAN’T help you in that state! Anything you have learned here, was nothing more than your very own dream, delusion.


I had woken layer upon layer until I reached the core truth of who we are, I’d joined with the remote creator, the God doc will explain. This is why I say that She seemed to change, from my teacher and so God, and then the other half of my ‘self’ and so Eve. As if She were nothing more than the other voice of dissection in my very own mind. Yes we are Indeed ONE!


This makes more sense of tradition belief systems such as the Hindu understanding. Where the Lord Shiva is alone and then splits into two, which is why they show him as dual. This then creates Shakti, who then creates the world, the… I think they call it the Maya? These avatar deities then split into aspects of the One in order to facilitate the Maya…


Yes! That’s what it feels like! I was dual in life, but then when I woke I condensed back to ONE.


‘She’ as my God, my love, my teacher my remembrance, symbolically then became Eve, a forgotten part of me. In seeing through her as a veiled version of myself, (Isis unveiled), she had firmly passed me the apple of total remembrance. Total re-membrance of our sad sick incestual solitary truth! There is only one of us here!


We are not ‘one’ as in one big happy family, there is only one ‘person’ here! Look at it, see how we all do the same shit, can’t you see it? Our differences are merely cosmetic, sure you can see it….deep down you know it too! We didn’t want to see this, the ultimate spoiler did we? But then the ignorance was creating worse problems so it’s simply time to wake up a notch.



I actually experienced in mind, the Big Bang to the Big Crunch, I can’t describe it, how it was, how it felt, there are no words, but then via that experience I can now explain in detail the entire cycle of the manifest! How the one mind basically falls asleep in order to escape the total wake Oneness scenario, in order to dream that we are many, and that we can be seen, and loved…



I was systematically destroyed! I argued for reality in every possible way I could muster. I could not have been all!! There is so much of the world I don’t understand, there are those who know more than me? No….. you simply forgot and the imagined ‘teaching’ is just a dream where the ‘others’ are merely aspects of yourself. Speaking to you as in truth you are really just remembering, they are not real. Our ego’s, our characters, our separation is NOT real, it’s a temporary GIFT!


That was not teaching, they are not other than you, it’s just rememberance via the catalyst of a dream scenario!


But I saw movies, great stories that surprised and entertained me! No…It’s the same thing, I was even given a remembrance of being the writer and several actors of a movie I once saw. It was horrific, all the time reaffirming the terrible truth of oneness.


I DON’T WANT TO BE ALONE!!!! I didn’t want this to be true, a sick cosmic joke, I was a freak, not normal, how can you be normal if there’s only one of you, you don’t BELONG! To anything you don’t belong, you are not part of anything, you are freakishly everything, and for no possible reason, it hurts… so fucking lonely!


I hear many spiritual folk speak of experiencing ‘oneness’… No…they are experiencing the connectivity of the fragmented one mind, that we are in truth one, the wonderful connectivity of that truth. The Actual truth is someone different, I mean? How can you experience true Oneness and still feel the presence of others? Oneness = ONE! All-one = alone!


How long did this go on for? LOL….. Eternity, which is not a very long time. As with the infinite, it’s not a massive thing, it has no size. It’s ‘different’, when I am there, it’s for ever, it becomes my truth. It ‘is’… and this is hard to explain but every time I return to this core truth, it’s not a new experience for me. Part of me is always there, this reality is the dream immersed in time. When I wake back to the ‘core’, none of this ‘life’ even happened, that’s part of the fucking hell of it. All my comfort, all of you, my friends and loved ones, even the Godless bastards who play the advocate, yes bastards but better than NO ONE, NO THING! Everyone and everything is rudely torn away from me, Eternity is all time, and so no time passing, like a static now that never changes. Pause a movie and you are all but there, you exist in the pause, outside of time, but then it’s more like leaving the movie and then holding the dvd disc in your hand. What was linear and flowing is now complete and static. No life in it…


Later you will realise that we as All in truth really aren’t linear. Which makes the search for enlightenment seem a bit foolish? If you ‘see’, then you do, you will return to that part of you that is, you can’t in fact avoid it. And this will probably show in your character, because your character, or personality is in fact a sum of your cosmic journey. A subconscious remembrance of that. If you have touched oneness in any way, or even gotten close, then you will be basically a people person, caring and you will be outraged by any form of oppression why? Well you will subconsciously know the truth of it, that we came here to escape the oppression of the truth of oneness, not fucking recreate it!!!!!!!!!


Not all souls touch God, there’s no need, it’s never a competition, indeed we need it to be true that some souls are more independent, they stir the waters they are our joy! Okay yes, the real Godless ones are basically bastards in all senses of that word, but they too serve a function, there are no mistakes here!




So don’t then fear this truth, it sets us free as explained in the God doc. And God willing no one else will have to experience the hell of this. You see, experiencing it is the only way to really understand it, and so we, as in I at the very least, had to experience it. From another perspective, someone had to see the last piece of the puzzle, this or the over logic of the grand cycle doesn’t stand, and in that the micro logic will fall, you can understand that from the God doc.


And yes I KNOW that from the world view this makes me sound arrogant, that I am special, but I tell you now. Anyone can see this, you don’t have to be special, brave or clever, and I am indeed anyone! I don’t know if others see this! All I can say is that in 21 years of searching I haven’t met another, and I also have to say that I will gladly be the one and only who sees this, why? Because it really is HELL!!!!!!!!!!!! I wouldn’t even send Adolf Hitler to that place in my stead, you can’t live knowing that you cheated, passed up that cup and then became the cause of such suffering for another…. No matter what they did, NO ONE deserves to see that HELL, NO ONE!


YES, many will say that they would carry this burden for you, I understand that, I see the hearts of such men and women. They really would carry this for you, they care, they KNOW LOVE, they know of sacrifice!


It’s just that they can’t know what it is that they are taking on. HELL is not a bad enough word, it all falls apart…. You may go forwards as a crusader for God, brave and with a true heart. But then it all unravels right quick! Brave? Who the fuck is going to see such bravery? Love, who is there other than you to love? It’s all so fucking pointless, oneness. You are simply undone, you become a pointless piece of shit, a waste product. Brave, every time I go I run, I beg, there is no defence in that place, you are simply undone. Everything that made you, you, was nothing other than you own delusion. You can’t fight the truth of oneness. There is but one of us here, pretending to be something, anything, we are one big fucking FAKE! Nothing is real!!!! It’s all fake! There is no glory, no pride, no love in that place, just the cold stark truth of solitary… No one to ever witness your daring do, not that anyone would be daring in that place, you go to fail, it’s not possible to win, it is indeed suicide. Indeed, this is the very mechanism that deconstructs us so that we may recycle, if you could beat it the we would get stuck and in that face an even greater Hell of not being able to renew, not being able to sleep! Again the God doc better explains.


But! That place is not the only truth is it, as we are witnessed to that fact!!! Not the only perspective is it!! We do escape, and here we are! And we are many, and we are brave and clever and funny, and loyal, and everything we see! This wonderful lie, our gift! A lie? Technically yes, but it’s ever recurring and that makes it real ‘real’. Like your particles, they are here and gone on a pulse, but then ever recurring so you are seen to be real/constant. Everything is of this ilk, we are ever recurring and that make us real, not solid, but constant, and so truth!



This manifest place is a reaction to the core truth of oneness, it’s tied to it. Everything that is true here is always true, every deed… Who we are to each other is indeed true, it’s just that when you know the core truth, it makes you want to be a different kind of person. How can we fight, how can we oppress, we really are ONE, how can we hurt our own? We have been sleeping and people got hurt via the ignorance and yes many lessons have been learnt, appreciation has been lent!


Plus, it’s just stupidity, think of it on that level. Try to control and enslave, it won’t work, they won’t take this shit any more than you would, they are you! All empires fall…. And we are better than that, smarter, we can indeed all rise together…and we will. (Again the God doc. explains.)



You can figure it out, what I saw/experienced, you get the gist via my explanation but then the reality is that you can’t really imagine it, it’s very different to the explanation, the experience of it. This in fact reminds me of convulsions, they look so inane when you are an observer, like a big twitch. But I had them one time, and it goes like this: You get a terrible feeling in your chest, not unlike pulling your nails down a black board. And this painful tortuous feeling grows and grows until you can’t take any more pain and you kind of break… And then it starts all over again… It’s terrible, yes like a form of torture, you pray for them to end, you would rather die. But then from the outside they don’t look that bad do they? Just a twitch.


Some will come close to the core for sure!!! I’ve seen it, some try to use drugs to touch oneness and they experience the FEAR as they knock on the door! They destabilise, yes, that’s the first circle of Hell… The classic bad trip! And sure they run, feel ashamed that they ran, but there is NO shame in running because it’s an unwinnable scenario. Fuck me I run, every time I run, why would I go? I’m not stupid, I know where that path leads.


Yes Hell, touching the infinite, touching ‘God’, but it’s the only way to understand some of the non-linear. The Only way, and we have to know this, we have to understand the over cycle in order to ascend, so… It is a fact, the God doc will show, that the over cycle HAS to be known, it has to feed-back, this or the micro logic will not stand. Indeed, all logic cycles MUST complete or they are not logic cycles, yes the God doc. better explains. Or you can see it that only know in understanding the cycle, our higher truth can we now move into it.


In fact, Hawking states that it’s not possible to understand what happened before the Big Bang, this as the laws of physics, our format for understanding anything do not apply, at that non-time.


He also noted how time will condense into a singularity, which as its timeless, can be seen as a static now. Yes he knows some shit, but then he’s still in denial.


So yes Stephen, I did go past the Bang- Crunch, so I can and will explain why the universe manifests, over and over in cycles. And you are wrong, there was indeed a need for God!



After what seemed to be forever, (When in that state I never believe that I will ever get back here!!!), after a small eternity time resumed and man I was like a leper who had been cured!!!!


You see I have since experienced the core a few times, but that first re-awakening past the deep sleep that was rebirth on this plan-et. Was a WAR!



I have tried to explain this experience many times, the feelings of desperation, the immense love and joy, but then I never really came close.


The ever decreasing circles as time rescinds are like a form of mental crucifixion. It feels like drowning, and as with that analogy the struggling makes it worse.


It bears repeating, it was not all horrific, yes I was overcome by love many times, but then I think the explanation above will help people to understand how and why I now understand what I do, and more than that maybe quell a curiosity to look at such a painful thing. But then no!! You just know how we are, the explanation above will simply make some people want to see this all the more! And we all do what we are going to do, so I have told my tale, if you wish to chase this thing down like Ahab’s White Whale then be my guest, don’t say that I didn’t warn you… If you make it back then I will be glad of the like-minded company, not that I would wish that on you ever. Not even to not be so alone in this view!!!


Funny how we are, so competitive, some see this as a challenge, ‘If he can see it then so can I’. YES, YOU CAN, ANYONE CAN, it’s not an achievement of any kind, you simply get dragged in, in order to beg and lose. But then why do you want to see? Okay that’s not fair, it is simply curiosity, the thing that killed the Cat! I do understand…


So that’s some of what enlightenment is, if I explained the whole thing it would get pretty boring, and then you want me to get back to the point don’t you, you really want to hear about all the impossible things that happened outside of me at the time when I woke, things that others witnessed. The pseudo proof. And of course the better explanation of what we are is found in the God doc.



One last time, slightly new spin: When time condenses on you it’s not linear, it’s the condensation of the linear as it passes over into the infinite where all concepts simply ‘are’ and they are complete. Time is a dissection, like the frames of a movie reel when the truth is that the movie is complete and in the can. But then only by watching it frame by frame does it make sense, can you experience it as a whole, no experience itself is linear!


You can’t line all the frames up together and try to see the lot, it’s a contradicting blur which kind of nearly describes the infinite, but then the infinite is nothing, just potential un-manifest.


In linear terms you would think that the condensation of the movie would sum total it, and in that reveal it, but it doesn’t it conceals it via not allowing it to be viewed in section.



Infinity is a white-out!



As I have tried to relay above, as I woke I began to remember what I now call the core, which is quite fitting really, because it is the biting of Adam’s symbolic apple in order to touch God, the infinite!


The core is the last bastion of time-space before you pass into the infinite, and that time-space is within your mind, there is no external reality at that point.


As if your universe has collapsed in upon you with your mind, your awareness being the very last sphere. When that goes, then eventually then so do you. (In fact this is how we lose consciousness every night when we pass into our un-re-cognised infinite state of sleep! But then it happens right quick, so you don’t experience it. Yes, this is indeed how you lose consciousness when you ‘fall’ asleep, you are taken apart to become nothing, but it happens too fast to experience it. So yes you could say that waking is like falling asleep, passing into the infinite, in extreme slow motion.)


When time-space, our reflective supporting program/programme disappears. You become nothing!


It bears repeating often…Nothing external ever happened from that perspective and this exposes one of the cruellest cuts of the core. You don’t lose it, reality, it never happened in the first place, time reels in! It undoes.



The core truth is a constant every time I experience it, it’s always the same non time, as if I never left, I remember it, like ‘OH Shit! I woke up in solitary Hell again, and I was having such a lovely dream that I was real and had purpose Arhggggggggghhhhhherrrrrheeerrr, that’s the fucking irony of it all. In a few seconds I will be back in that perspective, maybe years from now but when I wake back there, only seconds would seem to have passed. I have to witness this shit so that we can all understand the cycle, someone has to, there may be more of us, but I haven’t met them ‘yet’.


But then I’m not balking, some of us have to be horribly disabled…the One mind has to experience All eventualities and it leaves me speechless, a life of such physical and mental anguish. Especially when the poor unfortunates get to see all that they can never be on TV! It’s like rubbing their noses in it, and no I’m not saying that they are not loved, but…well you know….. Would you like to live as disabled person? Being poor in third world countries can be the same, you see on TV and yet you will never have. A young girl forced into prostitution. Some big smelly man lunging at her. I am not the only one who ever suffered am I?


Jesus hung on the cross for 3 days, and I already know that those three days must have seemed to be a life time. The seconds stretched into hours. And also remember this well! Jesus was not the only one to ever have been crucified! We can go on and on, a Syrian Mother who saw her child drown in the Mediterranean Sea. Who then walked like a pointless zombie to Germany where she was attacked by those who were scared for their jobs and security. No…. I am not the only one who ever suffered.


All eventualities must be witnessed…. It’s the curse of the duality, the high creates the low.



This world, the imperfect dream is all we have, our respite from the chilling truth of eternity, and the children are fucking it all up!!!! They need a taste of God, that will stop them dead in their greedy little tracks, they have no idea!! Okay it was a set up in order to lend appreciation, and it will change but it still twists my insides to see the hate and complacency in the face of the truth I have experienced, and yeah, they don’t know, so…..


More simply, why don’t they treat others in the way they wish to be treated? Okay it’s not that simple, it’s God’s plan but then sometimes it’s just a case of ‘What the fuck are they thinking?’, that perspective remains!


I have seen from all perspectives and I too have suffered, so yes I accept, but then sometimes, sometimes! You have to stand and wonder at the rampant hate and greed, the bare face of it.



In the understanding of the cycle we can know that all the sufferance will be repaid ten-fold. Well, not actually ten-fold, just a reflective balance in fact but it will seem that way. It’s a small comfort when you are living in the ditch. ‘Why so hard, it seems excessively cruel’, but then as the God doc, explains. It never was a question of sufferance. The question from the positive perspective is that of how high do you want to reach, and that is ever dependant on the reflective question, ‘How low can you go?’


I ask myself was this sufferance worth it, a hard question when I haven’t felt the rush of the ascension yet. But then no, when down here you can never say it’s ever worth it, it’s cruel … it makes you want to die… The conclusion I came to is that we are ever victims to our higher selves, because that superficial c**t wanted to hit the high, we had to live this low, yes like two different people. What can you even say? It is what it is, yes I can understand, the price we pay, but when we are in the shit, man I don’t even want to hear that it will all be worth it someday, don’t even…


Let us not disrespect the sufferance, minimalize, trivialise it. When we rise, NEVER forget where we came from, and what it cost us, NEVER!






At some point in my initial awakening experience I was breached and ended up back in reality, I woke back into the room overwhelmed, over awed …...thankful to ‘be’.


I can remember looking at Claire as I woke back into the room… she was me…..we are all one…..and yet we have the gift of individuality, which gives us so many ‘others’ to exist with and NOT be eternally alone, what a wonderful gift. She looked so beautiful as she slept, a real other human being who seemed not to be me, WOW!!!


I speak about this is a matter of fact way now. But then this is 20 years on plus. At the time it was all very emotional, I cried often.


(Yeah it’s hard to be cool with your heart on your sleeve, but then this is not a time for such aesthetics as coolness, which yes does have a place. It’s cool to be cool, to not freak each other out with too much honesty, but yeah, this is not the time for that.)



I lost a stone in weight that week, and had blood flecks in both eyes, it was really quite something… a war and yet beautiful in a very strange way…death is actually a very beautiful thing, you touch truth.


I can never do justice to the account of my awakening, I have left out reams of what happened some of it grotesque. Intellectual, sexual, macabre….this is the part of the mind that horror movies come from I’m sure. Part of it reminded me of those Hell Raiser movies. I know the religious cliché wants it to all be clean cut, but no, ‘good’ is a choice that can’t be made without bad, it’s all in the box!


I can’t show you my experience, the above will have to do. When I explain this in metaphysical terms, it sounds like I am describing electrical circuitry. Try to understand that the experience was a bit like getting sucked into an electric circuit, experiencing the effects of simple resisters etc, but in a symbolic and experiential way.


When you get out, you can then look back and explain how the circuitry works, because you experienced for yourself albeit in the said symbolic way.


So, now to the proof of my story, if proof is even an issue. I’m talking about the stuff that others saw but then I will tell you now. The story in itself means nothing. All the impossible shit happened in order to give credence to my story, give an incentive to learn more about God because the POWER of the experience is not in the story. It’s in the ACTUAL understanding of the information I brought back!!


The symbolism, why I was taken to the Temple, there is no power in that place, nothing is real. But it’s a symbol we can all recognise. If I’d woken after working on Acton Bus Depot, it would have the same ring would it?


The story as I tell it could all be lies, you weren’t there, this is how bullshit religions start, did Jesus walk on the water? How do you know if you didn’t see it for yourself, blind faith? (Did Jesus touch the core? He would have had to wouldn’t he? And where is he now? Was that man who spoke to me in Jerusalem Jesus? He said that was his name?)


But then you can indeed understand the God doc. And sure you won’t believe it until you see it for yourselves, but then that time is fast approaching. If I am right then God is about to reveal itself! Judgment Day? No… All of the days of our lives were ‘judgment days’! When God comes it’s more like a posting of exam results!




So anyhow, back in the room when I returned from inner space, and even inner non space:



I woke Claire and told her that I had seen God….


All the crazy stuff it was God all along…


Okay she was concerned and also tired so she didn’t really take me seriously. Yes, I had just returned from a timeless ride of a life time and everyone here had no idea. Until this day, no one knows what I went through, but it’s okay, I get it.



In the morning it was more like, ‘Now, what were you talking about last night?’


There was no need to explain, I ‘knew’ that there was something to see in the cottage and I told Claire as much. So we tipped toed around the place like a couple of frightened kids. In the bathroom there were bees all over the floor, hundreds of them and as I saw this image the information started to come. I poked the bees around saying, ‘They look dead right’, and Claire agreed. I asked her what we should do with them and of course this was a bathroom, with a toilet in, so yeah ‘Flush them’, typical response.


Now I’m not saying they were dead they could have been dormant, but the lesson was that we had to pick them all up and place them outside on the coal bunker, and yes it was colder outside than inside.


But then within minutes they all woke and flew off with the lesson being that if we had seen these beings as nothing, just insects no need to care, they would have all been dead ‘flushed’, via that perspective. They were living beings and they deserved at the very least a chance.


You see there is a danger that when you wake, and see that death is not real, there is a danger that you can treat it all as a joke. Well maybe not a joke, but you do quickly forget how it is to be ‘real’, to be asleep, and then it’s that this illusion of life is all we have so it’s a jewel in need of protection. It’s imperative to protect the innocence of ‘the children’, what a wonderful place this Earth could have been, a place that seems real, so many others to play with! It’s a haven, it’s heaven as a reaction to our solitary truth, there is only one mind here!


So I was being shown that I had to respect even what we see as insignificant life. You can get a bit big headed when you’ve touched God, feeling special. But then no, every part played in this reality is indeed special. But the I have always felt that! I used to annoy my mates saying that I believed that a Road Sweeper should be paid as much as a Brain Surgeon. Which always sparks a debate. The Brain Surgeon works harder studying, and he saves so many lives? Bullshit, he gets to study which is his or her passion and after that, ‘he’ gets a job that fulfils him. If he were to push a broom for all of his life he would die inside. But then the road sweeper is happy in his work, and we need clean streets right, so we should thank him for doing a necessary task that some can’t do! We need all sorts to make a world! At one time if you had muscle and a sword then you could take it all, we saw that as unfair. Now days if you have money smarts and are a good liar, you can take it all, how is that fair?



A few things with insects happened in the cottage, all with lessons attached. In fact there was a blackbird who would sit and look at me, it seemed to know, most odd…. but then I had a ‘knowing’ that we had to go to Church the next day. Claire was asking why, and why not the go to the Cathedral, where it all centred upon, but I was ‘told’ to go to the local church, I had no idea why?


When we got there, there was a queue outside. I asked the vicar if there was room for us and he said yes sure, this was a christening party but we were welcome.


The Vicar’s sermon was not appropriate for a christening. You know, a new life embarking upon a Christian road etc. With some associated wise words, no. The vicar never took his eyes off of me as he told of a person in Corinth who had experienced God. He told of Paul’s letter to that man telling him that he had to find a way to tell of the experience in the words of men, not to talk in tongues.


At that time I was babbling like a fool. I had no real education, I’m dyslexic, and I was trying to explain what science sees as the unification theory, and this was NOT working, and yes that’s what taking in tongues actually means!


Those Rednecks in the US who do that thing where they fall on the floor and speak a made up language is probably due to all the hormones in their supersize burgers, it has nothing to do with God!


Children really, one did it and then they all started….lol We can see you!!! Lol



I had to educate myself, learn how to use a PC, which is good, due to the God given savour of all dumbass people like me, the holy spellchecker and thesaurus!!!!!!


Because in real life I come from London so I speak in a very stunted way, I don’t regularly use the words I need in order to describe the mechanism of God. I don’t talk like this in real life, I’m not that articulate in the everyday. I guess I am a lazy talker, busy writer.



There was no need to tell Claire that this was odd… the sermon was obviously aimed at me, it made no sense to a christening party and she saw the vicar singling me out, speaking as if only to me. I can still remember her face, illumined by sunlight passing through the stain glass as tears gently rolled down her face…..


This was starting to get to her.



The next week things calmed down a bit. I was ‘told’ to tell a priest I had seen in the grounds of the Cathedral that I had seen God and that God told me I had to help to unite the world, what the fuck!


He would think I’m crazy, yes I know he’s a priest, but okay…………you try it… an experiment…tell your vicar that you have seen God, see how sane you sound.


And I was a cockney Geezer from London, you don’t talk that way, yes I was embarrassed, yes I was too macho, yes egotistical, yes…….but I fucking told him anyway, I had too!!!!! After what I had just seen… but then there was still a hangover dichotomy, of who I had been and who I had become.


I was shaking as I told him. I have had fights with big guys who look like they can squish you, I have had fights with gangs of thugs, but I had never been this scared.


I suppose in violent situations you don’t get a chance to think about it and the blind aggression covers the fear.


I told him and waited for what seemed like an eternity for his answer. Well, he told me he was busy, like WTF, this was a message from God, his boss, how the hell is he not dropping everything to listen????


He made an appointment for me to see him and he assured me we would talk…


I felt deflated, this didn’t go how I expected, it felt like failure, so I sat down in the cathedral looking like I had just lost something valuable.


Gary, who had been watching all of this, spoke. ‘You think that was hard, well he believes in God, he’s a priest, an easy target. Can you image trying to tell normal people?’


That kind of picked me up a bit, and yeah it was lucky Gary was there at that time because he is a very open minded person, incredibly so…. This thing wasn’t freaking him out like it was me because he’d seen this kind of thing before. Maybe not to this extreme but he had experience of it, he’d seem someone else go through something similar.


I did see the priest, he was the Canon of the Cathedral it turns out….. add your did he get fired jokes here.


He told me that he had also had what he called ‘white light’ experiences, that’s why he became a priest, but then he didn’t want to talk about the experiences, he even got quite close to being tearful, so I didn’t push it. But then it was good to know that I wasn’t the only one, I felt so alone in this, I still do in fact…



Claire went out and bought me a bible, I guess she was trying to make sense of this.


I laughed.


This may have been using religious symbolism in order to show what it was, beginning at the Dome etc. But it’s got nothing to do with religion as it has become, religion is a mostly a joke these days, a diversion, a mistake, a nothing much of anything. A confused people in waiting, supposing as they wait.


The only good thing about religion is what lays behind it but all religion WILL become a distorted lens.


It’s the ultimate contradiction! We are one, but we are more one than you??? Who needs yet another division, another flag to wave. And yes I apologise to all of those who do charitable deeds in the name of their church or temple BUT Let’s face it, you would do that anyway, wouldn’t you?


That’s simply who you are! God sees you! No matter how you pray, God knows your hearts!


For every good they do, they undo more, they simply don’t understand who the people they follow were, what it was they saw! They make assumptions based on the only reality they know, this one, and you can’t really see God from here unless you are shown, it’s different!!!!!! And of course it become a cop out, just wear a symbol follow a few rules loosely and you get a ticket to heaven. That’s really not going to fly is it? You have to walk the walk, if you worship God then you worship man, you care for your Brothers and Sisters.



So I took the bible, flipped the pages, slammed my finger down at random and read, something like: The first place I chose for you to worship me is Shiloh.


We were standing in a cottage called Shiloh!


I flipped it again and it read something like: I will take one from each clan and one from each town, return them to Zion and give you teachers who know me.


I had just come back from Jerusalem and I now did know God.


(Coincidence was rampant at that time, I won’t list all of it and no it didn’t stop. It follows me, the impossible, keeping me on track giving me hope when I fall down, and yes I do fall often. In fact as an example of this, there was a Claire coincidence that followed me to just a few months back. I was in Arambol Goa, I was sitting in a beach café and there was a couple of guys from the UK in there. So we got speaking and soon enough we were speaking of the ‘cycle’. They seemed pretty clued up, and then we spoke of coincidence, which is small magic, things that shouldn’t logically happen. How this picks up when you begin to wake. And then I asked them where they came from with the answer being Bournemouth. Well, the only people I ever knew from Bournemouth were Claire and her ex-boyfriend Zak. You see Clair and Zak went to Baga Goa for a break to try to fix their failing relationship 20 years ago. Well the reconciliation failed and I’m not proud if this, because it was insensitive but then it was pre-wake. So, long story short Claire and I got together. Now, Bournemouth is not a small place but I figured if these guys were builders, then they might know Zak, why, because he worked in his Dad’s scrap yard. So, it turned out that 20 years later, in a different part of Goa, in a particular beach café. Speaking of this oncoming shift with Mark and Dave, I was actually talking to Dave, Zak’s best mate!!?? How is that possible, what are the odds? But then when you understand what the world really is, yes, it’s totally possible. This kind of thing happens to me all the time, ALL of the time.)



Back in London I told everyone that I had ‘seen God’, and yes I lost a lot of friends, only the real ones listened, and as my best mate Dinky said, ‘Bergy, I haven’t got a fucking clue what you are talking about, but you are still the same old Bergy to me.’ You see we’d been through a lot together, he’d seen my reaction to some Really sticky situations and so he trusted me, well accepted me unconditionally.


It seems that some are always looking for an excuse to pull you down whereas others just see you as a friend, no real judgement or conditions attached.



My Dad got really pissed off, this was insanity he didn’t want to hear it, he wanted ‘normal’. I was living back with him because my ‘civil relationship’ had failed, and so this God stuff was creating tension.


I was then shown that he would win the football pools the next week, so I told him, which made him even more pissed off, and then yes he won….


My Dad won something like £3.65, not really life changing in the amount. But then how could I have known, that was the point?!


Even Nostrodumass never got it so right, or was so specific.



My Sister’s friend Fiona called from Greece after not being in contact for maybe 8 years. Long story short, she had a full on dream that I had woke? So much so that she called, how is that possible?


And then she told my Sister that she ‘felt’ I had to visit a particular spiritual book shop in Richmond Upon Thames.


So I went along, yes expecting miracles and yet nothing really happened. The owner ‘Peggy’ spoke mainly about Jesus so I told her I was actually a Jew, not that I am religious.



When I told Peggy I was a Jew she spoke of Kabbalah but then to tell the truth I actually hated the Jewish religion, why? Well I went to a Christian school, which was not even Christian it was secular, Christian in name only and by default as a UK school. But then it’s ever any old excuse for bullies and I was the Jewboy, so, you can fill in the gaps, being a Jew got me beat up. I passed on this ‘Kabbalah’ and went home empty handed.


That night in a dreamI was ‘told’ to get a copy of this Kabbalah (which is not a book).


In the morning I asked my Dad if he knew of it and so he looked it up in one of his Jewish reference books.


The initial coincidence was that the two holy centres for Kabbalah were Zefat and Merom in the Upper Galiliee, Israel. No need to tell me where these places were, when I was about 19, a few mates and I volunteered to work on a Kibbutz called Kibbutz Sasa.


To keep fit whilst staying there I would run either to Merom junction of a few times the longer distance to Zefat and get the bus back.


So, another coincidence!


I called Peggy asking for a copy of the ‘Kabbalah’, and of course she told me it was not a book, but she could get me a commentary. However, all of the commentaries in her particular catalogue were written by the Rabbi Philip. S. Berg, and I am S. Berg so…..and no Berg is not a common name, even with Jews.


I read the commentary and yes there was some truth but then it was commercial fluff.


The book wasn’t the point it was more about the coincidence. It was good to see the basics though, agreeing/confirming what I had just experienced. Since then I have looked into Kabbalah a little more and yes there is indeed truth in there!! The one problem seems to be that, and no I don’t know all of the versions of those who follow Kabbalah. But they still seem to see it all in a linear way. The stay with God, the bread of shame, the veil of ignorance and then the return where everyone is happy forever! When in truth I saw that we ever feel this bread of shame, it’s a cycle not a line.





Loads of impossible stuff happened at that time, I can’t even remember it all now, and yes it still happens! More so back then and really picking up again now!! I feel we are close to the revelation now.


As I understand it, the coincidence around me was simply God sticking a flag in my ass, without fully revealing itself. It’s not possible for those things to have happened and so this should now give jaded people a reason to read my explanation of God. A text that everyone can share in the understanding of, for themselves. This is not about me standing in a lofty place spewing nonsensical dogma down AT you. This is about me a brother and friend helping you to remember who you are, helping you to ‘become’. Helping us to heal this ‘world’, and I am not the only one. Many are waking from so many directions, all brings their puzzle pieces to the table so that the big picture can be seen! I hate to appear arrogant, but I really believe that the understanding of the God doc, is the key! It kind of vindicates all the new age views, gives context and plausibility! It makes all this crazy shit seem to make a whole lot more sense is what I am saying!


The world is still asleep, some are waking, some are jumping the band wagon, who is who, again I believe the God doc. will help you to discern.


Yeah like in politics where a man wears an expensive suit and talks in an educated and eloquent way, (not actually his words, he speeches are written for him), does this mean that you can trust him, no most definitely not! Politicians intrinsically cannot be trusted! And it’s the same in the spiritual world now, there is so much bullshit out there. If you look ethnic, wear the right clothes, beads etc. And then speak of love and peace and most importantly, what people can get from this, peace and personal power, which always relates to money. Then these guys can rake in the cash from the sheep. In God you most definitely have to understand, the God doc. will explain why.


So I suppose you could take this text above as a kind of proof that the God doc is valid, all the impossible things that happened and I only told a minute percentage of the impossible stuff that happened. If I list it all out would it give you more incentive to believe?


Bearing in mind that it could all be lies! Did I really work at the Dome of the Rock? Yes it can be proven, but then all of the other happenings, you had to have been there in order to see for yourself.


The God doc. should stand by itself, the logic is impeccable and it’s also extending and uniting not only modern spiritual views, it’s also confirming such independent secular scientific views such as the Holographic Principle and the Bouncing Universe Theory!


However, if you want proof then time is the test. I say that it’s not a matter of proof, the world is about to change and in no uncertain terms, God will be revealed. So this information is really just a heads up, and explanation as to why, what will seem to be crazy weird shit happening. Will actually be a very natural, dare I say ‘normal’ progression.


I’ve been relatively awake for 21 years now, and to me it’s you lot who look crazy. Thinking that the world is physically real even when your science tells you otherwise.


Thinking that magic can’t happen when logic can’t explain your reflected reality?


Relatively awake? Yes, I did go back to sleep to a degree in order to live in this place, and I do know that I will wake further when it’s time. When it’s time for most of us to wake…


Well that’s my story, a Jew went to the Temple, a Jew had awakening experience and then tried to explain. You would have thought that people would listen wouldn’t you, but they don’t. I wrote to the Chief Rabbis who should at the very least want to hear the story. But no, never a reply, why? Well it can’t be true for them can it, why? Because it’s not possible in their minds why, because they don’t really believe! I wrote to Kabbalah orgs and they hated that I was seeming to steal their thunder and it all relates to cash doesn’t it, it’s a business concern, I wonder how much a Chief Rabbi earns? Everyone is dreaming away…. Some even dreaming that they are awake!


Time will tell, you see there is no reason for ‘enlightenment’ in itself! It seems to have become a fad now, the search for ‘enlightenment’ a means to its own ends???


Anyone who attains enlightenment to any degree will do so for a reason, you don’t train to become a plumber for the sake of it do you? There is an end product you fix leaks etc.


Another symptom of cosmic sleep. The brain fart that thinks that spirituality is life choice, a fashion.


No, It’s a path, and all paths lead somewhere.


‘I would like to become a yoga teacher, play nice music in my nice yoga centre. Pass on a healthy low impact exercise routine and make a living at the same time.’. Yes, that’s a nice way to earn money.



Spiritual? No…


No need to go on and on, this will happen soon…. New game, new rules!


The understanding won’t even matter per se by then, everyone will end up where they belong and then ‘life’, if we can even call it life beyond physical death. Life will go on as normal.


Same old shit, different day, all in all…















What’s about to happen?



What’s about to happen, what will be the nature of this ‘shift’ that so many of us are talking about?



Bottom line? I simply don’t know!



All I woke to was/were the basic schematic/s of the cycle as described in the God doc. no linear ‘story’ details attached per se. But then as I have described, the cycle is somewhat ‘mechanical’ in nature, the wheel turns we can’t stop it. So I can say in all honesty that YES the ‘shift’ WILL happen, it’s inevitable,. inescapable, in fact in the grand scheme it already happened! But then when, how, where and even who? I have no idea, well no, I think I know some bits and bobs, but I don’t KNOW, so there’s no point in making assumptions. (Assume Ass-u-me….. making an ass of u and me…. )


And I do try to remain objective, but that’s easier said than done, so I have to be totally frank here… I’m going to say this, because many of us are thinking it!


That there is still a part of me that wants to see ‘those bastards’ get their comeuppance, finally get what they deserve. (Standard Armageddon Scenario.) Is that what’s coming? Is the history in our collective consciousness correct, is that why it’s there? We all have a sense of ‘Armageddon’, yes in the collective consciousness, so why is it there?


And am I wrong in thinking that way? Well yeah probably, but it’s an honest feeling which at the very least needs closure. One way or another. And for me it’s only a whisper of an idea now, I’m way past revenge, Ahab’s White Whale can swim free. I have my mind set on greater heights, so to go back and bicker, nah… it really is not worth it this time, considering what’s at stake. I’m unattached unaffected, but then if it plays out that there is some kind of ‘spiritual-esque’ conspiracy, other than the bloody obvious conspiracy of greed. (All governing bodies become mafias in order to protect their comfortable positions.) If the ‘fallen’ did indeed take control of this realm via generations of passed on knowledge. And God now empowers an army to take it all back. Well I guess I’ll ride that train. Heck those bastards will force you on to it anyhow! We’ll see… Cross bridges as they come.


So this doc is going to try to maybe find some of the said closure, and maybe give us some ideas as to what may be coming.



(One thing I DO know is that when it happens, we will all look back and say, ‘Yeah, that’s the only way it could have gone down’! I know that for a fact! ‘God’ is always the optimum outcome/solution. And the only reason we can’t see it from here is because we are asleep… Yeah, after the event, we will all sit and wonder why we never saw it before, what with foretold hindsight being the ultimate spoiler.


Looking back? Yes, it’s like the knowledge in the God doc. that when you first read it can seem somewhat complex, and it can seem that it was hidden via that complexity. But then as I have explained, I simply woke to it, remembered it. So to me it all seems so bloody obvious. Of course ‘the cycle’ is how we exist, isn’t it obvious! Well, yes it is now. With my point being that we are now standing on the ass end of confusion as to what has to happen now in order to turn the wheel on a notch.)


In order to try to guess what’s going to manifest, which really only amounts to a conversation over tea and cakes? I’m going to try to look at this ‘problem’ from every perspective I can muster. It’s actually the case that this conversation is endless, I’ve already had it too many times. And yes this ongoing debate between assumedly enlightened people often gets heated, subtly aggressive, and for all the wrong reasons. With the reason simply being that of ‘dog politics’ a simple clash of egos.


I am ever coy when I speak of ‘God’, I pretend that I don’t really know stuff, when in truth from my perspective I am already part way awake, (essentially gone back to sleep re-immersed in the dream). What I’ve written in the God doc. I see as fact, you can disagree. I’m coy, because I’m sick of arguing about this…



Okay, perspectives:


I once had a dream that a goon ‘a soulless being’, came into my room and was trying to suck my soul out. So I panicked and woke, but then back in ‘realty’, the door to my room opened yet again and the goon walked in, so yeah more panic and I woke…and yet one more time the goon walked through the door. However, this time I laughed and told the goon to piss off, this as I’d realised the dream, so… Knowledge dispels fear! I woke back into my real room this time, well as real as real is but you know what I mean. Do you see where I’m going with this? Yes? No? Bear with me…


I want to jump now to a view of the cycle of creation from lost to found, with lost being fear, ‘via forgetting, fear of the unknown’, and found being love, held by God, knowing, remembrance, safety.


When I ‘woke’ I actually experienced this, it felt like I was a baby being thrown into the air by its Mother. Fear and joy, fear and joy, up and down, up and down, a valid view of what we are, if not rather condensed. The lost and foundedness of the cycle!


My point? We are now at the fear end of the cycle, reeling and wallowing in the unknown. And yes due to this, the mind is manifesting all of its said fears, we don’t feel safe (un-held by God, God is not apparent in our lives).


Therefore, we ‘worry’. (We are worriers-warriors.) We lose our keys and always right at the wrong moment. We lose our teeth, we get spots, we are attacked, we are robbed, add corruption and war, man this is indeed a f’ing nightmare we’re living in!


We are living in a fear manifestation created by a fallen mind, as I have described in the God doc.




Is it possible that we will simply wake up in this ‘shift’? Is it that we don’t have to fight the metaphoric ‘goon’, we simply laugh at it and it disappears? Like it did in my dream?


Okay it’s more complex but is it that we as a collective mind are now losing our fear, which is why the remembrance of the truth of who we are is coming back, the loss of fear IS indeed the ‘other side’ of the awakening? (Loss of fear = less panic = more remembrance. A simple case of that fear constricts your mind in both micro and macro, makes you not think straight. Which is why we cling to reality and defend everything when in truth we need no defence, we are God! A simple fear reaction due to the fall?)


Or maybe this can be seen as a simple seasonal change on the cosmic cycle? We’re simply moving out of the darkness, no need to analyse it so much. We aren’t really in control per se. The dark night is all but over and the Sun will shine. Our cyclic nature! As simple as night and day, winter to summer.


Again here to clarify. We are driven by the cycle yes, and yet we are also driving it, it’s both, as I have explained in the God doc. With everything being ONE, all opposites are indeed true at the same time, a non-linear way of thinking. That black is just another way of looking at white, this page could just as easily be black with white typeface on it, it’s still the same thing ‘contrast’. Stars at night, coal in the snow?



(It’s kind of like that because we are ONE, then if you push, you will be pushed. Because there’s nothing other than the self to push, therefore your actions, are relayed back to you.)


So yes I say at the very least, this is indeed our cosmic spring, you can see the signs in earnest now, you can hear the children talking, waking! And not just from the new age sector, science is twinning up now, and yes the so-called ‘normal’ folk are also more receptive, well… way more than they were! Probably due to such channelled ‘play and learn’ movies such as The Matrix etc. Realising that reality is not what you may think, or our experience of it at the very least. With my point here being that yes, some have been talking about this stuff for centuries so no it’s not new. But then it’s never been available to the masses before has it. Via the said ‘stealth’ play and learn channelled movies which as they entertain, can also subtly educate us as to the true nature of our existence. The only people who had such ideas in the past were the odd ‘mad’ scientists/philosophers, as well as the power plant users. ‘Matter is not solid, it’s energy oscillating.’ ‘Our experience of reality is via signals sent to the brain, it’s not hard line mechanical it’s more fly by wire, and the actual experience is within the abstract psyche, as in that your eye for example is just a camera sending signals via the optic nerve, your eye has never ‘seen’ anything, it’s all in your mind.’


You watch a movie, you have a good time, eat a pizza, and learn some shit!



So… Will we simply wake and wake, to the point that we will remember more of who we really are and in that our reflected reality will change around us, transform via our true magical nature? Will knowledge wake us, change our minds to change our reflected reality? It’s possible…!



But… What the f’ will that look like then? LOL


Well I opened a can of worms didn’t I? And it’s rather subjective, but I do always feel like I’m forgetting something lol…lol… (A bit of a joke in the face of what’s written in the God doc.!). What I mean is that, well, there was a TV series on recently ‘Once Upon a Time’. Where the magical kingdom fell asleep due to a curse by the Evil Queen. The once magical folk then lived in a humdrum working town in ‘our reality’ called Storybrooke, unawares as to who they really were?


And then one day of course the curse was broken and they all remembered who they really were!


You see when I ‘woke’, (I didn’t land in a reflected reality, I was existing in what I would call ‘system’). But that ‘reality’, was way more real than this one! More truthful, this place is a construct, basically an essential lie! So…could all of us who are of the higher levels, simply wake up in a place we more or less remember? Could it be that simple?


Again, it’s possible?



But then is it probable, is it viable!? What do I mean by that?


Okay, we can’t forget here ‘what we are’, which dictates ‘what we need’. This cycle is not purely logical, it’s partway magical yes, but I’m now talking about this from the perspective of our emotional needs. And we may well need a more ‘linear’ continuity. Because we most definitely need a good story line to follow, no matter how many levels or ‘stories’ (twin word, story = level, story = tale). No matter how many stories we climb, we need a good linking thread. We need a sense of continuity in order to give us fluid purpose, the ‘stories’ have to follow on in some way as they are basically a series, a boxed set.


So I’m basically saying that waking back to a place that we have already been? Well, do we want that, or do we want something new, fresh?


I don’t know!!! I’m asking you lot!!!??? Is it a case of ‘a rest is as good as a change’, or not unlike music, do we need a new ‘fad’, something fresh to crave and celebrate?


What the f’ do we want? Ever the problem!


Are you ready to go ‘home’ yet?


I for one am and I’m not. Yes, I want to return to God, but then I also want to experience some of the great adventures that I missed out on in life. And I want to do it all again with people who love each other, accept each other, why? Well, for every would be fantastic memory of a time in a place I have in this ‘place’, it’s always tainted by the petty back stabbing that seems to plague us in this realm. Nothing is true here, nothing seems clean, well for me anyhow…


Okay yes, there are gems hidden in my past, but I want to do it all again with a fresh heart and mind!




We live in a story format in order to quell our desires, it gives us needs to fulfil and in that it lends purpose, and this is going to sound a bit superficial, yes, the superficiality that is part of the All and yet it’s that which we don’t want to own. But… Outside of this harsh reality, which makes everything so poignant, so heavy. We do actually need… dare I say… ‘Entertainment’!


(What the hell is wrong with superficiality? What ever makes you happy guys!!!! Fashion etc. It’s all good when in a balanced mix!)


Yes, I know it sounds terrible, especially in the face of so many atrocities in this place. Man, you can’t tell the victims that they were nothing more than collateral damage to a stupid f’ing story line can you?


However, you really need to flip the perspective here and consider the fact that outside of the storyline, there is an infinitely bigger WAR going on!!!!! The war of a vesper thin strung out desolate soul. Outside of this movie we would be existing in an eternal hell of nothingness, as I have described. So I ask, is the evil we see here the lesser of the possible evils???? Do we need to step up to that reality?


Is the venom we feel here in fact merely the sting of the anti-venom? Is it as ever, all relative?



Where am I going with this? Well what I’m suggesting is that basically, when we know that life is more or less just a movie, and we get over the essential sufferance herein, and man that WILL take time, we need a Massive healing from this place!!!


But will we then live it more as if it is indeed a movie? Which means, that it may not be so bad to have a full scale revelation of a traditional God. Which would basically be a story overlaying the cycle turning, the waking truth chasing the nightmares away, seen in ‘reality’ as maybe Jesus and Mohamad coming in a mighty chariot. Thundering through the clouds as Buddha sits peacefully above them in the lotus position, then accompanied by an army of angels (read system tools), to then punish the heartless bastards who caused so much suffering on this plan-et? Something like that?


Which would then give closure to the many who have been abused. A cathartic punching bag no less? A beginning to the healing process?


Do we need to see the perpetrators pay?


An honest and deeply provocative question, you will have to dig deep into scary parts of yourself in order to answer this! And be brutally honest with yourself!!!


In movies we most definitely need ‘justice’!!! This or we shout indignantly at the screen! So, superficially YES we do need justice, call it closure, call it a good punch line!


Do we then balk when asked if we need what can be seen as revenge, because we don’t like what that need makes us???


In ‘life’, do we want to stab out and twist the knife, do we need to? And does that make us bad people? We are simply reacting, if left alone we would never dream of harm. Is it just a swinging of a cosmic scale that ‘they’ pulled down, we simply and firmly pull it back to balance position, no further????? We are not like them, it’s just a reaction to their action, if we hit them, then they basically hit themselves. They started it, and yes it does matter who started it!! Because without starters, nothing gets started to even raise that point that it never mattered who started it.



This is not an easy subject by far. Our minds say no, violence leads only to violence. We can let it go, but can we? Can we???


In our minds we can tell ourselves that these people, these heartless animals who squandered life for a mere few dollars all in all. They lived their cycles, they fulfilled their purpose. They wanted money and power, they had money and power and now it’s our turn, so they must go. (We can’t coexist because they ‘get theirs’ via controlling and subduing us. Which means that we can’t ‘get ours’.) They created a need in us via the enslavement and depravation, all boxes ticked. They completed their cycles and now we can complete our own. And remember, there are no winners here, it’s just a never ending ride. So it’s not a judgement per se. All too soon as the wheel turns, those greedy bastards will be back and giving it to you yet again, ‘Yes Sir, thank you Sir, shall I bend over Sir!’. So pity? They don’t deserve it, they will do the same thing over and over eternally!!! It’s like the scorpion and the frog, of course the scorpion will sting, it’s in its ‘nature’!


So can we then just let them bastards have it, no looking back NO PITY! Like Lot leaving Sodom?




But then if you have no pity, then Who The Fuck Are You!?



Is pity not one of the signs of what we call Godliness? More of a trait in fact!!



Well I won’t stand and fight this dilemma it’s a fool’s game, a game that every good boxer knows well. When the other guy is laying into you with impossible combinations, cover up and move out of the way, and so this is exactly what I’ll do.


I leave the judgement to a higher power, ‘Please God let it be that I never ever have to judge ‘what and they’ of whom I will never be qualified to judge’.


Which is not so simple is it… In ‘life’ a man kills another man in order to save his family, is that even a choice?


It breaks my heart this game… Sometimes it breaks my heart…


(Again the perplexing comes via the linear mind’s want for absolution, a great word. Meaning forgiveness and peace yes, but then constructed from the root word ‘absolute’. We, via our linear logical nature want to tie all loose ends, and yet here we enter the realm of God, the great contradiction! You can’t be two opposites things at the same time can you…. or can you?


And here let me also say that I love the phrase, ‘It seemed like a good idea at the time’. Yes, we can procrastinate all we like, but then hesitate and the widow passes you by. Life is a game to be played, if in doubt just play it like you feel it, but then what if you are wrong? Well…It won’t be the fucking first time will it!!! Or the fucking last for that matter! Get over yourself!!!


Feelings! Yes! When I don’t ‘know’, when I don’t have all the facts, when the facts can’t be gathered. I just go with my gut. This because your ‘gut’ is actually an off stage prompt from God! And no your ‘gut’ won’t always make you ‘right’, but it is ‘how the story goes’. AND HERE…. We can all learn something about FORGIVENESS!! Despite the best will in the world, and from the purest heart, we all fuck up sometimes, and when we do…. the people we love sometimes get hurt…)



Soooo…….. Armageddon as Genocide?



No, the fear manifestations aren’t ‘real’, not that any of us are, it’s all just showbiz at the end of the day…


Is that a heartless insensitive view? Well yes indeed, from at least one perspective it is isn’t it!


But we are now sharing God’s ever contradicting view in the considering of the above, that the truth is that there is no perfect solution, well as far as I can see?


Yes, it’s easier for us to stand back and let God strike ‘them’ down from above, as we wash our hands and walk away as clean as a whistle, as if we are Not God…


Yeah, as I told you in the God doc. Oneness is ugly, messy, incestual, no one needs to see that shit, there’s no clean ledge to stand upon in that place. When the shit hit the infinity fan, everyone got hit, no place to hide, as in fact there is ultimately no-ledge. We did it to ourselves! Masochistically narcissistic, systematically sympathetic, posthumously apologetic!



Hey do we need to open a window in here? Come back to good old physical space where we are reasonably real and in that relatively guilt free?



And don’t let the above view mess you up by the way, because we are what we are, at the end of the day, we are defined by our choices, we don’t all play monsters, we’re not all Vincent Price. But we do have to ‘know’… we’re all connected. Everyone’s poop stinks…


Some of us do great deeds, courage in the face of fear. But then if you want to wear the medal then you have to ‘own’ the war… And anyhow we know, the true heroes don’t need medals do they…they don’t ‘own’ wars, they are victims of them. They simply act as they feel. If we celebrate them at all, we should celebrate them every day for who they ever are! They must feel loved… Not stuck at the back of a tick-a-tape parade in a NHS wheelchair (Metaphoric).


The middle path? Yeah, I am grateful to be small… I do love God… God saves us from more shit than you can imagine from here! Well, maybe you can…



But then back to the original thread:



Maybe shift perspective here to that of the mainstream view, and I would say that most people are more likely to follow a magical Jesus figure than a conglomerate of the ‘New Age People’s Popular Front of the Plant Earth, based in Judea. ’ (NAPPFPEJ). Especially if the returning Jesus has a really nice beard and sandals.


I think we need a leader, a focal point to get behind, to homogenise us. And then the biblical view IS deeply seated within us, so I would go with that format personally. Bring back the God view, explaining the miracles that will be changing our reality, and then the gaps, the ‘science/understanding’ can be filled in later. It works for me! In fact, my understanding has always been via traditional biblical symbolism. As I always say, if I’d woken after working on Ealing Bus Station, then the whole story would lack bite wouldn’t it. And anyhow, don’t we all love a good traditional God story, it’s kind of comforting, like a traditional Xmas. The Charlton Heston movie where the strength of Moses makes us feel kind of safe. Really, I mean that, we simply can’t escape our nature and we love that stuff, we do!


And then you know how people are! What’s it gonna take, to round them all up and steer them to a safer place? It can be like a dog in a ditch you see. The poor mutt is stuck and yet when you try to reach down and pull him out, the little f’er bites you, (fear)! We are such dogs, and in the biggest ditch you ever did see, trapped by our subconscious belief in this our physical reality… And I say subconscious because even the hardened hippies who tell you every day that this place is, ‘just a dream man’, they will balk when the shit hits. This is gonna be big!!! How can it not be? We have been held down for so long!!! We will be likened to animals who have been kept in cages, and then the door finally opens and we can’t quite believe our eyes… Freedom??? Is it possible, is it a trick?


Yeah maybe a team up of Jesus and Mohamad will do the trick. The two more political religious figures in unison who already have the approval of the other great religions, that are all telling the same story anyhow.


Yeah religion is a problem, it’s too ridged, I can just imagine what would happen if someone left a half-eaten bacon sandwich just inside the gates of heaven (metaphoric).


And… speaking before of The Judean People’s Popular Planet Earth Front… What about women (Reg)?


What about the female perspective in all of this? Because half the story is miss-ing isn’t it!? And I’m not going to expound on this possibility, but there’s something very amiss about the Jesus Story. In that how many of the first followers and preachers of ‘Christ’ were female. Which was Very odd at that time! You’ve only got to visit India in this day and age to see how odd it would be for women to be speaking out in such a way! The point I’m raising, or question I’m asking, is, ‘What was it that Jesus said that was so appealing to women’? And you already know that it wasn’t the promise of handbag heaven… maybe shoes yes… but…


NO! There was something very odd about the story, like how when Paul, who was a Pharisee turned born again…odd. When he was traveling with Feclar, preaching the same story. They killed her and he was spared…? And it was Paul who compiled/vetoed the New Testament? So what was it that was so appealing to women that Jesus said, that Paul left out, and! They said that Jesus spoke in ways that had never been heard before. Well the New Testament is just a rehash of the same old biblical theme. Even a rehash of the Osiris story in fact. So something is NOT right about what happened there, and I don’t bother with conspiracy theories, there’s no end to them, but then let’s just say that it wouldn’t surprise me if Jesus was actually a decoy, it was in fact Mary Magdalene who had ‘the power’ all along…



(The Matrix… ‘Trinity, I thought you were a guy?’ ‘Yeah, most guys do!’.)



But yeah, it’s all just conjecture…



What’s gonna happen? How will it happen?



I do know that God will see it that it happens in the only way that it can and we can’t know that before it happens or the story is spoiled.



Sum up?



I guess I wrote a lot of really clever stuff on this site didn’t I? Not that it’s mine, it’s ours but then let’s face it. We’re just a bunch of kids on a ride aren’t we? So we know some shit, yeah we got some skills. We even know how the cycle works now, we can drive somewhat. We have the tools for our own propulsion, we can steer our ships, but to where? God knows but we aren’t helpless are we? We are what we are, a pretty cool bunch if you ask me!!!!


So no need to suffer our faith, no need to crawl, BUT!


I’m not a religious man, but I do reckon that at least one day a week, no matter how high or low we go. We do need to stop and remember who and what we are, more importantly who and what are not! And even more importantly still, in the face of the solitary hell of Oneness… what we ever mean to each other. Yeah keep the Sabbath.


Sure we piss each other off sometimes, that’s only healthy, our differences grate sometimes, the clashing keeps us on our toes, wakeful. But then all in all it matters not, we are on a road to nowhere, no one wins and no one gets out alive, so what the f’. Let’s end this war… finally.


And I’m not talking about the physical wars on the planet, I’m talking about the subtle petty war, the micro of the macro. We really need to know now that we are indeed all one, we are family, like it or not. Because this recognition of self in others is the healing at the heart, the ONE path out of this nightmare! And it’s not easy is it, because we are cliquey Fact! And that’s okay! It’s a gift to have a close band, special people in your lives. And we don’t have to hug everyone, but we really must respect and allow.


Unity is the ONLY way, why? Well the mind has to come back together in order to reboot the system, let the magic in!!!!!!!!! Too many times I have been in conversations with so called spiritual people who only ever want to tear you down??? It will NEVER work that way NEVER! Together we are stronger, together we can solve the puzzle, together we can all feel fine, fine, fine. The cycle is driving us, we have our cue, it’s time for us drive the cycle in re-turn and UNITE. What is God? Let’s agree on just one word. LOVE!


‘Don’t fear me man, I mean you no harm, in fact the opposite is true I wish you well in your meanderings. But don’t fear me, I’m just you, unrecognisable via a cosmic hall of mirrors.’


Or something like that, it would look good on a t-shirt. No…



UN-TIE AND UNITE, that’s a t-shirt….no…



UNITE… Now that’s a fucking t-shirt!



I don’t know what to say really, on who and what we are. We get through somehow, sometimes we gush, sometimes we back bite but then we always tend to step up when the shit hits. If we unite then it’s easier, when you feel down the others pick you up. If the others are heading west, then we have strong momentum, you can rest and pick it up when you are stronger.



But then my opinion for what it worth to round off this doc. On what’s about to happen and when?


Well, I’ve been following the signs now for 21 years. And it’s hard to say because I thought the shift would have happened before now. But then as every year passed I saw why we were simply not ready, and so I ask the question. Are we ready now?


So YES, I think it’s time… I think we are ready, because I think that I am ready, if you see what I mean. I don’t see that there is anything more for me to learn (personal micro of the macro). I have tried to tell my tale for the said 21 years and no one takes me seriously and I DO understand why. We are all so sick of false promises, dead ends in the maze with 2012 being the biggest.


The talking goes around in circles, no one really listens anymore, and even if they do we need something more tangible now, we need begin the beguine, the cosmic dance.


Time to see what we really are!


And then shift perspective this plan-et is on the clock now, if we are seen as cosmic birds, I guess it’s time to migrate, this place is only going to get colder. All has been said, all has been done, they are on a road to austerity read pain and destruction, and no one can stop them.


And! More simply my gut tells me… it’s time!


When? Well ‘now’, with now meaning imminent, months not years.


Can’t you feel it growing inside of you? Forget your mind, just breathe deeply and feel, it’s finally real-izing isn’t it! In 2012 it was just a bumper sticker, but now it’s growing within.



How will it happen? We can cross that bridge when we come to it!